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SPARKS
Another log tossed on the fire
sending sparks up through the flue
like souls escaping from the pyre
whose heat spirals them from view
And we sit here side by side
on this cold late winter night
in contented silence we abide
hypnotized by dancing light
Whose flames carry me far away
to folks and places back in time
where I can remember every day
which passed like a clock's fleeting chime
Back when the man beside you was
thick-haired, handsome, full of youth
never giving thought or pause
to how years alter self or truth
But like a spark as it cools down
my thoughts return where they began
and drift back to our piece of ground
to this old and balding man
So as we sit and drink our wine
I admire both fire and view
and as our fingers intertwine
there's no doubt I still love you
About This Poem
Last Few Words: with Sue on valentine's eve
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
13 years 5 months ago
Dear Stan,
A lovely valentine...
So as we sit and drink our wine
I admire both fire and view
and as our fingers intertwine
there's no doubt I still love you
and without the traps of being sappy. Your delivery is right on!
always, Cat
scribbler
13 years 5 months ago
Hi Cat
Thanks for visiting and such kind comment. I Try to avoid being Too sappy lol...........stan
weirdelf
13 years 5 months ago
This is wussie
"A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.
Salman Rushdie
I want to see passion, challenging beliefs, antagonism from you. Otherwise you remain a mere pastoral poet.
scribbler
13 years 5 months ago
hello
"Welllll.....You don't always get what you want, but sometimes it goes you find.....you get what you need"
rolling stones lmao. I just so happen to have written a little social commentary piece the other day. I'll try to post it today. PS nothing wrong with being a "mere " pastoral poet. No different than being a "mere" angry poet........stan
weirdelf
13 years 5 months ago
ah, you know me,
sometimes I have even loved your wussie poems. Just take it as a comment from my dark side, no offense.
scribbler
13 years 5 months ago
hello
I hardly expect you or anybody else to like everything I write, I hope I'm not That egotistic lol. No offense taken for you were only saying what you felt................stan
hippiepoet69
13 years 5 months ago
I love it.
Good to hear your poem. I say hear because my fiance has to read it for me. Im blind in my left eye and right eye is right behind it. I wish i had meet sandra early in my life, as you meet your soulmate. Take care . Huey.
scribbler
13 years 5 months ago
Hi Huey
It's really great to hear from you. Sorry to hear about your vision problems though but at least you've somebody who loves you enough to read even this to you lol............stan