Ian.T

Jan 12, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Special Time

The ice was etched in perfect form,
Snow drifting like a gossamer gown.
Sky carved from an ebony block so true,
Scattered with diamonds, making black, blue.

A hand held gently within the visions glow.
No matter that it was Ice and snow.
A love kindled, that has always been
Your warmth perfected this scene.

The only thing that random love could do
Was to create perfection for us two
To look in wonder we were lost in time.
With greener grass, just yours and mine

The moment stored deep within the mind
Here the eternity of time was left behind
Etched forever in that minds vast spaces
This was feelings touching many places

It mattered not that no one else shared
This was it, for all time, with one who cared

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Just a memory from the past that holds today. Has been edited from 2012

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Leicestershire, Ex Moonraker, GBR

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

lonlyhrtsclub13

11 years 6 months ago

Ian

A warm, lovely write. I see a snow storm, white fluffy snow with Crystal icecicles hanging down. Perhaps a couple snowed in, staring out the window, hot chocolate in hand. Sharing time and thoughts on a winter day.

Ian.T

11 years 6 months ago

Carrie

Most of it right but no hot chocolate, just hot feelings and a damn good memory. Ottawa a long time ago lol..
Thanks for your lovely visit, Yours as always Ian.T

lonlyhrtsclub13

11 years 6 months ago

ian

I am sure it was quite a night....great piece

Ian.T

11 years 5 months ago

Carrie

Only three weeks and No hanky Panky lol but a loss of a heart for someone, only 36 years this March seems like yesterday LOL
Take care drop us a PM when time permits, Yours Ian.T.

Am writing a piece that is really for another story but will put it on Wesley's workshop for a while to see the interest, I was going to write a story called the Advisor but we will see if time permits

lonlyhrtsclub13

11 years 5 months ago

Ian

I am playing with ideas for the workshop...I have many emotions but seem to be blocked at getting out. I think all the harshness I have received has me leary but I will keep trying. Something will spit out.

Roscoe Lane

11 years 5 months ago

Memories,

Memories, everybody has them some good some bad. This one sounds great, as does your poem. Regards Roscoe...

Ian.T

11 years 5 months ago

Thank you Roscoe

Yes things that have lasted half of my lifetime must be good, I am glad that you liked the write also, Take care, Yours Ian.T

Seren

11 years 5 months ago

Dearest Ian

Beautiful memories that you hold in your heart, they are sometimes the things that get us through. This was a beautiful piece of a long remembered acquaintance

I only have one gripe I was slightly put off from the rhythm in the third stanza

For all time this grass would be greener
The only thing that random love could do
Was to create perfection for us two
To look in wonder we were lost in time.

the loss of the rhyming couplets put me off a little bit in the read, other than that small thing I think its a wonderful piece and well worth the work

thanks for sharing such a beautiful personal memory

my love always JC xxx

Ian.T

11 years 5 months ago

Jayne

Thank you for pointing out a flaw in flow, I hope I have sorted it after all this time.
Really lovely to see you here again, becoming whole again takes a lot of time young lady and we have plenty of that.
Sorry about the children playing games, and moving things, I have told them you just need their support, and laughter..
Yours as always Ian.T xx

Seren

11 years 5 months ago

Ian

I am glad I could help improve an already wonderful poem the flow is so important, I have time hopefully it will find me in a better place, I am taking it one step at a time, one minute at a time, one deep breath at a time

funny you should say that about the children ? Do you think you could ask them where my tablet is I lost it yesterday and cant find it lol smile

with love always JC xxx

Ian.T

11 years 5 months ago

Jayne

You want to try and live here, they hide things all the time.
I have just written a piece for Wesley's workshop it is a poem on that story I mentioned to you that I was going to write.
It is lovely to hear you laugh again it has been a few days, just you let it out gal, there are times in this world that those that have given so much in life need to laugh and be more smiley your time is now.
To hell with all those that have been unnecessarily hurtful.
I can hear more laughing, you just rest and listen, Yours Ian.T xx

Seren

11 years 5 months ago

I will try to find some peace

I will try to find some peace, I am looking and keeping my mind active

the first smile is the hardest the next is the beginning to healing quote "me"

love always JC xxx