Spilling Soul

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem explores emotional vulnerability and isolation through vivid metaphors, such as "bottled up," "cashier filled my bags with anxiety," and "hurricanes." These metaphors effectively communicate the speaker's internal struggle and emotional weight. However, the poem could benefit from more specificity in imagery or concrete details that ground the reader further in the speaker's experience. For instance, phrases like "unplug my flaws" and "losing a game that I can't restart" remain somewhat abstract; clarifying or expanding these metaphors could enhance their emotional resonance.

The repetition of certain phrases ("drifted apart," "torn apart") in close proximity might dilute their impact. Consider varying word choice or imagery to maintain freshness and avoid redundancy.

The poem's structure and pacing are generally effective, but the stanza beginning "Yes, I have drifted apart" could be strengthened by providing more context or imagery to deepen the reader's understanding of the speaker's relationships.

The final stanza effectively conveys resilience and hope, but the phrase "a man still alive in a brewing storm that swore he wouldn't survive" could be tightened for greater impact. Consider revising for conciseness or clarity to heighten emotional intensity.

Overall, the poem demonstrates thoughtful use of metaphor and emotional honesty. Refining imagery and clarifying abstract elements would further strengthen its emotional depth and resonance.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Seems like the speaker is overwhelmed by anxiety.
I believe the word choice is good in most places. The metaphor in the first stanza pulled me as a reader to know more.
I also like the message that the speaker wants to avoid the partner or a close friend what he suffers.
I am not totally happy with the second stanza and thought the poem can stand without it.
Just thoughts as you know.
I much appreciate sharing this one. I think many can easily relate as life is becoming a sum up of obstacles and anxieties..
Thank you for sharing.

agree with Rula, I think that you could do without that second stanza. You might also revise the line:
"don't see me torn apart", to something like, [see my torn heart.] and "in a brewing storm", could be: [in a monstrous storm.] ~ Geez.
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