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Mar 02, 2012
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The Spoken Gesture (edit)
Why is it,
That I can’t identify
The words said
With her eyes
Am I truly looking deep inside
Can I reflect what’s conveyed
From a heart that touches mine
Is it a moment
I have let pass in time
There are words never spoken
Which are articulated with a gesture
That speak volumes
Without vibrating upon an eardrum
If my eyes were truly open
Would I gather
The corollary intimation
Of librettos which were not sung
Only to be captured in loves relation
Does my blindness occur
From not being conscious
When words are spoken
In the kindness of a heart
Which has been broken
How do I become that man
Unselfish with love
Comprehending that love is more
It is the awakening of the mind
And not a game that you keep score
Giving of myself
With no expectations of a future
But rather what is needed
At the moment
by the one I love
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction: Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Starlight
13 years 4 months ago
nice!
loved it! good job..
i liked these lines
There are words never spoken
Which are articulated with a gesture
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 4 months ago
Star,
So much is said without words, and we miss it smiply because we're not paying attention to the nuances of body language.
Thank you for the visit to my page. it's appreciated!
Eddie
...
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 4 months ago
Lonnie,
your comment took me aback, you are to generous with your words, but I do appreciated it very much. I am afraid that comments like this might give me a big head. Hahaha!
thank you my brother in arms
Eddie
...
scribbler
13 years 4 months ago
Hi Eddie
I often think more is conveyed nonverbally than with word and especially betwen lovers. I liked this but still have a few ideas you might consider:
L-6 typo reflected to reflect
L-7 maybe change a to the
L-11 change which are to but
L-45 call stan a butt lol
Eduardo Cruz
13 years 4 months ago
Stan,
Thanks for the read and the correction, "but" this line "L-45 call stan a butt" doesn't fit anywhere. So I guest I'll try and write a poem with that line specifically. Hahaha!
Eddie
alidzain
11 years 2 months ago
Hi Eddie
This is a good write. Thanks for sharing.
Alid