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Mar 07, 2012
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Stand To Win
What do you stand to win?
Everything
And what will you lose?
Everything
Why challenge yourself?
It will be worth it in the end
Even though they doubt your skill?
I will prove them wrong
After all the times you failed?
I will get back up
Though you know what lies ahead?
I have gotten this far
To slay the greed of others?
To approach a dream
Why even try?
I stand win
To fall
To rise.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: With everything to gain and everything to lose, its worth a shot.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Cloudthings
13 years 4 months ago
Great sense of attaining
Great sense of attaining balance, being positive & accepting "what is" here. Very clear & direct & no doubt it felt satisfying to write & heartening to express... as it should... This is a good thing to do, this is like an affirmation poem really isn't it... Good for the soul.
Cheers
A
Nordic cloud
13 years 4 months ago
James Joyce would like this,
The rhythm of this is enchanting
as we see two people speaking
and the play between the negative and positive
batted back and forth, I liked.
Just listen to:-
I stand to win
To fall
To rise.
James Joyce would like this,
he listened to the tennis players I remember in one of his books,
that tock, tock, tock, tock fascinating him.
Although I suppose his was only imagined, we heard it just the same.
"To slain the greed of others?" ...would it be slay?
"I stand win" ...to win, or a comma or new line.
Good stuff yours Nordic cloud.