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The Standoff
You are not far away as the crow flies
I will be back with you by sunrise
The rain it starts to pour heavy down
As the blood soaks into the ground
As it slowly seeps into the soft dirt
I pray for less, but I get more hurt
I am a wanted man in this town
So I fire off just one more round
I have never been a violent man
The Police just do not understand
I feel a sting as it enters my mind
Hurt more when you left me behind
I know that they will lay me low
As through my eyes blood flows
As they lay me six in the ground
To the earth, I am forever bound
There beside my grave, she lays
With flowers upon her grave
She lays beside me forever more
Will find peace we never found before
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Kristen H.
2 years 7 months ago
This...
This is beautifully written.
Depressed 1
2 years 7 months ago
Thanks
Thanks Kristen
Geezer
2 years 7 months ago
My only suggestion is...
to change the [Will] to [We'll]. ~ Geezer.
.
Depressed 1
2 years 7 months ago
Thanks
Thanks Geezer
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 7 months ago
Maybe a quick corrrction
As they lay me six (feet) in the ground.
Stellar as usual.
Tim
Depressed 1
2 years 7 months ago
Thanks
Thanks Tim