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I
IKnowNoBox
May 16, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Static For Precious

fringe cacophony
fiendishly abuzz
a distant dirge
mingles into
merciless wind
dusted with
skin felt audio
tainted with grit
when amplified silence
becomes shelter

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: East Coast, USA

Favorite Poets: Weird Elf, Shel Silverstein, The Poet Anonymous

More from this author

Comments

emeka ozurumba

emeka ozurumba

11 years 1 month ago

gosh!!!! jess

your sense of metaphors please highlighted me more, I'd like to know what inspired the poem, yours lovely, I'm thinking of gust moments thriving on the slake of inspiration , and you writing this poem for a feeling, please broaden a description to me

weirdelf

weirdelf

11 years 1 month ago

Your comment is unlear,

it sounds like you think I wrote the poem. David did.

I confess I found the poem unlucid.
No doubt it is my failing.

I

IKnowNoBox

11 years 1 month ago

I believe as I recall that this verse ..

was written back when I was living under a bridge. I was gaining critical, and skeptic momentum, and too much of what was going on around me blurred into static. it takes time to detox ones self from the buzz of society. It gets so people expect such invading concepts just because it is in a flattering frequency. So it is like society is flipping through radio stations and nothing factual, or non sensational doesn't stand a chance. Some even "squint" their ears to listen for interpretations to abstract static, and ambiguous media.

Thank you Jess for the read.

I

IKnowNoBox

11 years 1 month ago

Only truth reveals taint.

A pure canvas shows pollution.
So why does society sell only tainted canvas for the youth of today?
Creativity, rationality, and enrichment are drowned out by advertisements, and pseudoscience.

Seren

Seren

11 years 1 month ago

David

I didn't find the poem unlucid as Jess suggested, I really felt drawn into the words and a staccato rhythm that found itself in my mind as I read...there was a slide show of images for me that moved from one to the other with the feeling of fractured thoughts...nice work I thoroughly enjoyed the read

love Jayne x