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Still Yours

I said a name today...
A name I hadn't spoken in years.

It felt like warm honey
Dripping from my lips.

As quiet as the wind,
I whispered it again

As I realized,
I still love you.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: GA, U.S.

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the enduring nature of love through the act of speaking a name after a long period of silence. The structure is minimal, with short lines and stanzas that mirror the quiet, reflective tone of the piece. The use of sensory imagery—specifically, “warm honey / Dripping from my lips”—is effective in conveying the sweetness and lingering comfort associated with the memory.

The poem’s emotional arc is clear: the speaker moves from the simple act of saying a name to the realization of continued affection. The line “As quiet as the wind, / I whispered it again” reinforces the intimacy and secrecy of the moment. The final revelation, “I still love you,” is direct and unembellished, which can be powerful, though it risks stating the emotion rather than allowing it to emerge organically from the imagery and action.

Consider whether the poem could benefit from more specificity or unique detail. The language is accessible, but the themes and metaphors are familiar. Exploring the context of the relationship, or offering a more distinctive image, could deepen the impact. Additionally, the poem’s brevity is effective, but there may be opportunities to expand on the sensory or emotional experience without sacrificing subtlety.

Overall, the poem succeeds in creating a mood of quiet longing and reflection, though it may be strengthened by further development of imagery and a more nuanced approach to expressing emotion.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

1 month ago

If the intent...

of this piece is to bring about a reunion, I'm guessing that it would certainly pique the interest of the receiver, and in the event that it is not possible, comfort to oneself with the memory. Either way, it is certainly relatable. Nice, ~ Geez.

.

BlueSkies

BlueSkies

1 month ago

Geezer,

I was leaning more towards the comfort that accompanies the memory.  Thanks for commenting! 

Lavender

Lavender

1 month ago

Still Yours

Hello, BlueSkies,

This is tender.  Feels like a quiet awareness, and I'm not quite certain of the mood it brings. Future possibilities here?

Thank you!

L

 

BlueSkies

BlueSkies

1 month ago

Lavender,

You and Geezer popped in a couple key words to note the mood and the intention behind this.  I couldn't quite find the words I was looking for when writing, but the quiet awareness and the comfort that accompanies their memory are exactly what I was trying to convey.