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S
scribbler
May 25, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

STORM BITS

Summer days, moisture's haze,thrunder brays,lightning's laze

          sun goes,thunderhead grows,windows close, wildlife knows

                   hard wind,trees bend, warnings send,picnic's end

                                 puoring rain,loud refrain,hail's pain

                                           river's gain. house shakes

                                                           bough breaks

                                                               drowns snakes

                                                                 knee quakes

                                                                       rains slack

                                                                            clouds wrack

                                                                                 blue crack

                                                                                      sun's back

                                                           cool blows,run-off flows,storm goes,rainbows

                                                                                

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Just another write transferred from old site. An example of "concrete" or "form" poetry

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

Hi Rose

Haste makes mistakes lol.Will correct.........................stan

Rottiestyl

Rottiestyl

14 years 2 months ago

Loved the rhyming and I am

Loved the rhyming and I am not one for straight forward rhyming. But the picture you formed with the words was great. It put the finishing touch on the power of the storm. Been a while since I have seen someone do this, loved it.

Kim
(V)

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

hello Kim

It started out a a straight vertical line of pairs of rhyming words. Did not like the way it looked, so I changed form and accidentally fell into form poetry lol. Been trying to do one on purpose ever since...............scribbler

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

hi

You can be fairly confident if I do something right it is probably by accident lol..........scribbler

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

hello

thank you
for review..............stan

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

hi

yes, the picture is much clearer without double spacing..........stan

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

Hi Ian

When I originally posted this I was told it is called either concrete or form poetry. A poem in which words are arranged so as to form a picture of what poem or at least part of poem is about. I have seen a nonet here a few weeks ago and will likely try one before too much longer.............stan PS I guess that makes this a none nonet lol

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

hi

Glad to have accidentally been of help lol............stan

S

scribbler

14 years 2 months ago

lol

If it helps, the only time I'm any good it is by pure accident........................stan