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Jan 06, 2025
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Storm in a teacup
A storm in a teacup,
Not a problem that is ours.
These war driven elites,
And their dreams, to go to mars.
Our lives are like wheels,
Perpetually carrying on.
A rollercoaster ride,
Until the day we're gone.
Through sunshine and rain,
Snowstorms or hail,
My will to life,
Won't cease or fail.
Despite the fear,
Regardless of hate.
My loving kindness,
Can seal my fate.
So I resist the urge,
I'll turn away from fear.
And dedicate time to love,
In this new year.
For through the storm,
A light does shine,
A glimmer of hope,
In this life of mine.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
5 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Storm in a Teacup" explores themes of resilience, perseverance, and the power of love in the face of challenges. The imagery of a storm in a teacup conveys a sense of turmoil within a contained space, reflecting the idea of facing personal struggles. The comparison of life to a rollercoaster ride captures the ups and downs of existence, highlighting the inevitability of change and the passage of time.
The poem effectively conveys a message of hope and determination through lines like "My will to life, won't cease or fail" and "And dedicate the time to love, in this new year." These phrases emphasize the speaker's commitment to positivity and overcoming obstacles with love and kindness.
One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop some of the metaphors and imagery to create a more vivid and cohesive narrative. For example, expanding on the idea of a storm in a teacup or delving deeper into the concept of life as a rollercoaster could
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Rula
5 months 3 weeks ago
Awesome
So many good lines. A cup full of hope.
If I need to quote
"Despite the fear,
Regardless of hate.
My loving kindness,
Can seal my fate."
Tigger Kaz
5 months 3 weeks ago
Thank you
Probably my best lines also
Lavender
5 months 2 weeks ago
Storm In A Teacup
Hello, Tigger,
Much here to like! The theme is relevant, and the message of love over fear is inspiring. I don't recall hearing the phrase "a storm in a teacup" and the title was much stronger after looking into its meaning. Very nice!
Thank you!
L