Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Stormy, and Not a Cloud in the Sky
It matters not, how many times
a blatant falsehood is repeated
you can even tell it 'til your face turns blue;
it can never bring real comfort
in the long run, to any heart
because, of course; it never, ever will ring true.
On a cold day in october
'twas a truth I had to learn,
one so very stark, in it's own reality;
I couldn't help but let it "fester"
hurting the heart that is my own,
'twas relentless, and just wouldn't let me be.
The chilled, october air
simply couldn't have cared less,
seemingly deriving joy in the logic of the day;
but, I still tried to catch a snowflake
for to save it to my spring,
from a Storm intently moving on it's way.
And though, the brisk, cold, winter air
had turned my tears to ice,
the passion in my heart helped melt them down;
no one heard my private sorrow
from the Storm I called my own,
as she left my heart for good, without a sound.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: For my Stormy. They always run their course.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
docmaverick
13 years 9 months ago
Believe me, Jay Cee....
...I even cried whilst penning it. A good day to you, for helping to make mine, "good". Thank-you, dear one.
Sincerely,
doc.
docmaverick
13 years 9 months ago
Ms. JayCee....
...it greatly pleases me that you revisited your comment, and let it "stand". Soo very many times I've posted another "gem of a poem"...only to find out the next morning, that I should have probably written that one in crayon...handed it out to pre-schoolers....and then, intently praying that they lose it before whatever grade it is, that they learn to read, in !
Now, my "sweetness", you have made my night !
I always cherish your "big hugs";
well, as Mr. Potato Head said after his right eye-ball fell out,
"Piece.......out !"
doc.
Ladderwords
13 years 9 months ago
Felt a pang in my heart when
Felt a pang in my heart when I read this. She's a beauty. Thank you.
docmaverick
13 years 8 months ago
Thank-you, friend fisher....
...sorry I'm late in responding; but I very much appreciate your taking the time to read, and comment.
Thanx, again;
docmaverick.
docmaverick
13 years 9 months ago
Thank-you, Lon....
...in fact, it might've been more "passiomentia", if you know what I mean. Passionate, with dementia !
I do appreciate the encouragement.
sincerely,
docmaverick.
magics02
13 years 9 months ago
Sigh
Stormy Mondays can turn to tues wed thur fri sat and sun. I like how you expressed the feelings of the heart and soul.
Emotive poetry and written good here in my opinion. Glad to have read you this morning. Hope all is well.
smiles from miles
Ms Mona
docmaverick
13 years 9 months ago
Ms. Mona; I, too....
...am extremely glad you read this effort of mine !
You made my evening !
sincerely,
docmaverick.