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Starlight
Starlight
Feb 19, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

stress

she pleads for rest
as a wave of emotion crashes over her.
she drowns in it. struggling to escape she creates...................................scars

with depth too great to measure.
deeper than flesh. than bones. than the very soul itself.
she is too burried in lies that she ..................................................................can't

find any truth. cuts hurt
but not nearly as much as the harsh
discovery of the world she lives in. she tries to.........................................erase

the past unsuccessfully.
with nowhere to turn and
no place to hide, she finds herself lost in..................................................reality

About This Poem

Last Few Words: this is very rough, i would like some tips ..... but it tells a very close story to my heart.

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: New York, U.S., USA

More from this author

Comments

Nichole

Nichole

13 years 4 months ago

WOW

I like this one a LOT!! And i totally feel you on the subject and content!! Nothing in this needs changed I love it!!! honestly. I feel we will get along very well together. Keep up the amazing work young lady.

Sincerely nichole

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

13 years 4 months ago

Hello starlight

a very lovely well written poem
a very note worthy title
the only thing i might suggest is that instead of
having the one word way out to the side for readers to look for slow down the pace
and may even be forgotten its there.

otherwise your poem is great for some your age. you obviously have an inborn talent to be a great poet here
welcome to Neopoet

loved

loved

13 years 4 months ago

Scars can't erase reality

You dear young girl
are a wizard of creativity .
I couldn't even think
of what you do at your prime age .

But you have been badly hurt
and
creativity is at its utmost best
Hope your struggle
to overcome the past
bears fruit.

As a novice poet too
I adore you .

Starlight

Starlight

13 years 4 months ago

thank you

thanks for reading. very lovely feedback. i thank you♥

loved

loved

13 years 4 months ago

Nice feelings

NICE FEELINGS

when artists get a feed back
it elates...
so i always say
acknowledge and
co-relate
it makes poets feel great.
have you scanned
any of mine
yet Albeit!....

Starlight

Starlight

13 years 4 months ago

HA>:)

ok. Compared to what? not you of course.. :P but thanks

emogothgirl

emogothgirl

13 years 4 months ago

grrrrr

oh, boo you! there is no comparison - got you there - and don't bring ME into this. i'm not very good. everyone seems to agree that you are TALENTED tiha.

Starlight

Starlight

13 years 4 months ago

pish posh

tell somebody thats not a waste of space missy.

emogothgirl

emogothgirl

13 years 4 months ago

well then

i will take this up again when i can hug you till you can't breathe. maybe THEN you'll see it my way!

Starlight

Starlight

13 years 4 months ago

yeah

im not scared of you . >:P

Starlight

Starlight

13 years 4 months ago

thank you

i tinker with form a lot, i am trying to be more daring with it but i am not liking what i am getting. i guess practicing and trial and error will make me better.