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S

scribbler

Nov 21, 2010 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

THE STRIPPER

Standing alone for all to stare;
immodest limbs slowly sway
taking no notice, doesn't care
what you might think of the display.

Only one light on comely form.
But, then, one's all that's needed.
Disrobing has become the norm
Gawking and dropped jaws go unheeded.

Garish garb is slowly shed
slow dancing to an unheard tune.
There goes the cloth of mostly red
.Full nudity will be here soon.

Completely naked, now all is bare.
clothing scattered all around.
I watch regardless if you care
as the maple sheds its leaves to ground.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

14 years 7 months ago

heehee

You had me going Scribbler, yes you did!
Great stuff.

One thing...speaking (ahem) from past observations..."dress scattered all around" would be "clothing scattered all around":- they always have many bits and pieces to doff. Part of the professional skillset, if you know what I mean.

;)

S

14 years 7 months ago

stripper

I guess I can still pull off a surprise every now and then . Thanks for suggestion, I just used it.......scribbler

S

14 years 7 months ago

HUH?

you're going to have some stripper on your pancakes ? Anybody I know lmao........stan

14 years 7 months ago

LMFAO

Where the HELL can I get some of THAT????

S

14 years 7 months ago

stripper

As you get older you'll find it becoming common to forget what you were going to.................What was I talking about ? lol........stan

K

14 years 7 months ago

Yeah, but did you ever hear

Yeah, but did you ever hear them maple singing "Let me entertain you."?

You foxy little devil you.

~A

S

14 years 7 months ago

stripper

No , but I have heard them whisper in the breeze lol. Thanks for coming by ........scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

your usual excellent scribble scribbler

put a smile on my dial
love to you
judy
xxxx

S

14 years 7 months ago

stripper

Always good to put a smile on your dial for a while using guile...........stan

S

14 years 7 months ago

stripper

glad to catch you once in a while..........stan

14 years 7 months ago

I love to read uuu strip i may not do but i shall strip tease u

AS
soon as u and shirley too

stop reading me

i shall be gone

to where i belong

on triond i get 160 plus minus reads daily

and 30 to 55 comments too

they all love me so
once i have donated my thirty dollars
so earned
then i shall be gone
to where i belong

S

14 years 7 months ago

loved

I expect you to stay more than a while
to make me think and bring a smile
to myself and others here
who hold your writing to be dear

2 months 3 weeks ago

Dearest of scribblers,

Thank you for bring a smile to enjoy with my coffee!

very fondly, Cat

S

2 months 1 week ago

Hi Cat

I'm always happy to bring a smile to a pretty face