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A Study in Pink: section ten
Mackwill paces rapidly about his cold boudoir.
He’s found a thing tucked deep inside his oak and steel armoire.
How it got there he can’t guess spite knowing what it is.
Now he has a problem more pronounced than just his biz.
‘Her thoughts race absorbing facts found near the crime scene.’
“Guy, I want the girl, the barmaid seen, you know of whom I speak.
She saw a thing I want to know and know before she leaks
the secrets to the press and all, but here’s the other pain:
the trail of blood in the hotel come in from out the rain”
“Where did it lead?” Guy queries her. “Where did the blood trail lead?”
“It dried away inside the joint, just past ‘The Grill and Mead’.”
“Then we must search the Hotel grounds ‘til find the blood again.
The carpets will be wet you see. The steps in from the rain”.
And Mackwill stares upon the thing not knowing how it came.
He can’t recall a single thing from last night’s gory maim.
Now what do? How can he tell his all too fearful wife.
He hides his eyes and looks not on the bloodied murder knife.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: The extra line is a quote from elsewhere in the piece. Everyone is welcome to quote other sections to make a point. "Official Pronouncement". lol
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
wesley snow
10 years 9 months ago
Rula,
it is your turn again. Surprise. I will be moving sections into the Main Thread as soon as 1). Stan is satisfied with his submission and 2). Loved posts her submission (number nine) as a poem, so I can get to it. We need to critique number nine also.
scribbler
10 years 9 months ago
you
Know I'm seldom satisfied with my stuff but I've done an edit and It's good enough to move on.
Now to yours lol
You had m e suspecting a head was found not a knife lol. Good twist at the end.......stan
Geezer
10 years 9 months ago
Very nice...
I like the false trail, that seems to lead to the murderer. I also like the idea of being able to quote a line of the last work, just to keep the thread alive! Nice! Oh, sorry about the motorcycle, I didn't remember that it was 1888! I was thinking more of like, 1910 for some reason. Sorry, maybe I should change it to a bicycle? ~ Gee
wesley snow
10 years 9 months ago
I think we're close enough
to the motorcycle to leave it.
It may not be a false trail. What if Mog possessed him or maybe he's being framed. That's up to everyone.
alidzain
10 years 9 months ago
This is going to get more intense.
At least that's what this piece is telling me. The murder weapon on my character??? Oh no, the plot is really going to give me one headache.
Alid
lonlyhrtsclub13
10 years 9 months ago
all right
You have called me out...it is 140 am here so I will post mine tomorrow.
lonlyhrtsclub13
10 years 9 months ago
Section 12 is posted
This is definitely getting more intense and interesting.....
Rula
10 years 9 months ago
sir
You've pushed the story to an exciting point. It is something 'I' need to learn
Thank you.
Barbara Writes
10 years 9 months ago
Stan
Its a good one.
lovedly
10 years 9 months ago
hi Rula
17 lines and not 8 perverse
and you must keep section 9 in mind
else you sayings may become perverse
Snow judge ...Sir!