Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Dec 08, 2012
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Sugar Baby
Sugar baby
plaything for daddy
showers her in money
she's his honey
Fulfills her lifestyle
widens his smile
hugs and kisses
never his mrs.
He's paying her college fees
she's often on her knees
has a child to feed
gives her what she needs
Is it prostitution?
or business transaction
Is either getting hurt?
or is it all just sport
Sugar is very nice
to life it adds spice
but too much can be bad for you
I hope their actions they don't rue
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
weirdelf
12 years 7 months ago
You've got issues.
and the second worst thing is you don't know you have them.
The worst thing is you write trite silly poetry.
Sorry, that's what I see.
sueb
12 years 7 months ago
thanks again Jess
thanks again Jess
weirdelf
12 years 7 months ago
I take back my previous comment
The poem has meaning and value (but I still think you have unresolved issues)
The real problem with this poem is the double spacing. Edit it and I promise it will read a lot better.
weirdelf
12 years 7 months ago
Mnuch better,
I have underestimated you, sueb. You are a brave poet. I apologise. I really have been off my game recently.
sueb
12 years 7 months ago
Hi Jess issues are issues
Hi Jess issues are issues poems are poems i appreciate all your comments and reading have a good day x