ziggy

May 12, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

SUICIDAL

There's no more shame
in this modern whirlwind
tomorrow forgets our stumbles
too readily, for those who choose
to ignore I'm standing.

Teetering on the edge of disaster
heart beats loud in my ear pounding
quick and even faster,

Gazing down from the brink
of the ever after, just a few hundred
feet and the agony will cease.

Turning about-face can no longer
look at the point of my demise,
from where the crushing limbs of
the sea will soon taste my bile.

I saw and became what brought
me to this dead-end rock face
Looking skywards no final words
bending knees I leap.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: IRL

Comments

ziggy

14 years 1 month ago

hi again

sorry for delay in reply I am a bit sick this weekend
cheers for stopping by ,,,,,,zigs

lou

14 years 2 months ago

Enda

I love the whole poem, but especially stanza 3 and 4.

Much love Louise

ziggy

14 years 1 month ago

hi LOUISE

glad you stopped by glad you like it
this is not a happy theme but I needed
to post something ,,,,,,,,,,,,,cheers ,,,,,,,,,zigs

ziggy

14 years 1 month ago

hi LOUISE

glad you stopped by glad you like it
this is not a happy theme but I needed
to post something ,,,,,,,,,,,,,cheers ,,,,,,,,,zigs

ziggy

14 years 1 month ago

hi there

sorry to hear you have been there x
I am glad to say this is just another theme
for me, glad you stopped by I will read you
tomorrow when I am back to my self I hope
,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

ziggy

14 years 1 month ago

hi there

sorry to hear you have been there x
I am glad to say this is just another theme
for me, glad you stopped by I will read you
tomorrow when I am back to my self I hope
,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x

Candlewitch

14 years 1 month ago

You really scared me with this one. That's how good it is! I have been there, in my years before Steve. He watched me struggle with several issues and come through it in time. I'm going to show him this poem, if you don't mind. I know he will appreciate it. The last line is stark and to the point. But my favorite lines are:

Teetering on the edge of disaster
heart beats loud in my ear pounding
quick and even faster,

Gazing down from the brink
of the ever after, just a few hundred
feet and the agony will cease.

love, Cat

Lenny of Cohen

14 years 1 month ago

Hooked

from the fiirst verse! A tremendous piece of writing.

Namaste,

Lenny

Rottiestyl

14 years 1 month ago

Wow - a look back to try and

Wow - a look back to try and see just a small thing to allow a step back from the edge, not there. A sad piece but all to true for so many people these days. I have been lucky. I have stood on that edge but I never looked back, just up, that's where I found the beauty to try again.

A VERY powerful piece Ziggy.

Kim
(V)

Bonitaj

14 years 1 month ago

Zigs!

Powerful piece.just one suggestion - Put a full stop after ignore. New line "I'm standing"... Flows better and makes more impact!
I'm actually writing a blog called 'Back from the Edge' so I too have been aquainted with the night!
Nice one!
Boni

ziggy

14 years 1 month ago

hi there

I have not been here in ages
i must amend as you suggest cheers for the comment
i must look out for your blog ,cheers ,,,,,,zigs ,,,