Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
May 01, 2026
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Summer
Valentine was a waste of time,
I felt my soul captured-
no feelings rising beneath,
To support my truckload of emotions.
Every moment felt grudging, antagonistic,
A shrewd reflection of harmony torn in pieces.
Now summer is here,
Trying to sweep my street off its feet,
But I'm locked up in this disease called nostalgia,
Feeding on it slowly-
from the inside out.
My time on this earth is kind of programmed,
Already allergic to instructions echoing from sunny skies to dry pathways,
Tomorrow stands with hands akimbo,
An accomplice to a returning culture,
Like flies following a corpse to its grave.
I rub my feets into the dust,
Tanning my conscience,
Moving silently toward an ending-
Like a naysayer imagining effective rebellion.
I think the sun will fold up,
When young leaves begin their protest,
Against the harshness of God to man.
And when the rain finally comes,
Summer lifts its bright head again.
Then I ask:
"will we ever be free?".
— Sheddie, May 01, 2026
Share this poem
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Critiques
neopoet
2 weeks 2 days ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores complex emotional states through vivid imagery and metaphor, creating a contemplative mood that reflects on time, memory, and existential struggle.
Strengths: - The poem uses strong, evocative language ("truckload of emotions," "disease called nostalgia," "flies following a corpse") that conveys a sense of heaviness and internal conflict. - The seasonal motif of summer is effectively intertwined with feelings of entrapment and longing, providing a contrast between external brightness and internal darkness. - The closing question, "will we ever be free?" offers a poignant, open-ended reflection that invites readers to engage with the poem’s themes on a deeper level.
Areas for improvement: - Some lines feel abstract or ambiguous, which may challenge readers’ understanding. For example, "My time on this earth is kind of programmed" and "Tomorrow stands with hands akimbo" could benefit from clearer imagery or context to strengthen their impact. - The poem’s pacing could be enhanced by varying line length or stanza breaks to create more rhythm and emphasis, helping to guide the reader’s emotional journey. - There are minor issues with word choice and phrasing that could be refined for clarity and flow. For instance, "I rub my feets into the dust" contains a grammatical error ("feets" should be "feet") and "Tanning my conscience" is an intriguing metaphor but might be expanded or clarified to deepen its meaning.
Overall, the poem presents a thoughtful meditation on emotional complexity and the passage of time, with potential to be even more resonant through focused revisions on clarity and rhythm.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to our contact form.
Geezer
2 weeks 3 days ago
Hi Sheddie...
In your first stanza, I get the feelings right away,
no doubt in my mind that you either didn't have anyone interested in you at the time, or you did, but you had little interest in them. The sense that no one cared about your emotions, made you antagonistic. The second stanza puts me in mind of having to conform to a preconceived notion of your society. What ? do you mean,
I get the already allergic to instructions echoing
from sunny skies to dry pathways? What is that supposed to mean?
I rub my feet or foot, there are no feets,
Tanning my conscience? interesting concept.
These lines are the most effective:
Moving silently toward an ending-
Like a naysayer imagining effective rebellion. ~ Geez.
.