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Dec 05, 2014
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The sun
Clouds, so soft, float across the sky
It fills me with joy, I don't know why
At the dawn, the sky is alight with fire
a sight that never fails to inspire
this poem that I wrote just for fun
for our special friend, the magnificent sun
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
10 years 10 months ago
Boomer
Firstly welcome to Neopoet, I see you are testing the waters with this one.
It is a short sweet piece, we will look out for your future writes.
Have a go at Barbara's wind Renga it is good practice in writing,
Talk to you later, Yours Ian.T
Rula
10 years 10 months ago
I thought this is awesome
Not sure about the "it" at the beginning of line 2. Do you mean the clouds then it should be "they" as I can't see how it is related to the sky.
Anyway, I have enjoyed this lighthearted piece.
Welcome to the Neopoet.
wesley snow
10 years 10 months ago
Also welcome.
Please stick around as there is a lot more the site can offer beyond The Stream.
I agree with everyone when I say the poem is short and sweet. Almost a children's poem. Is that a thought you have had before?