Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Feb 27, 2018
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Sunku ( The Dance)
tonight we dance
silken touch
eyes lock
tonight we feed
savored taste
bite soft
tonight we sleep
dreamer you
I, too
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
7 years 4 months ago
I see...
that you have the form right; except that you have the lines in the wrong order. I really like the hint of vampirism included. A new member of the Darkside?
~ Geezer.
.
raj
7 years 4 months ago
Yes...Geezer is right...in
Yes...Geezer is right...in the context of Sunku lines of your stanzas are upside down and need to be turned 180 degrees
vandiemenspeak
7 years 4 months ago
An inverted Sunku...
The mountain upside down! I quite like it in this form, although I know it's not strictly the form, I sense the bite. I'll have a look at this workshop, thank you.
Cheers,
Chris.
IRiz
7 years 4 months ago
Sounds like an important
Sounds like an important evening you are having there. Anti-sunku looks good.