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Dec 22, 2024
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Superman
Superman came into my life
He talked to me
He listened to me
He made me feel good again
And then he went away
He told me that I had nothing to fear
That I was enough for everything
That I could be the very best I could be
And it came true
My superman did not fly in the sky
He did not leap tall buildings in
A single leap
He is an ordinary man
With a spectacular skill
The ability to make me feel good again
He gave me the tools
To live again
In the fullest possible way
And now I can see
The changes in me
I can think
I can write
I can sing
I can see
That I am in a far, far better place
Than I was before
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I have been writing about this man in the last two to three months due to the effect he had on me , which was seismic. He was exactly what I needed at the time to confront what I wanted to change about myself. Sometimes, you meet a person and that person changes the way you think about yourself. I met that person and these are the words I put together to tell you all about him and what that moment meant for me.
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem effectively uses the metaphor of 'Superman' to convey a transformative experience. The speaker's journey from a state of despair to one of empowerment is well articulated. However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery and sensory details. For instance, instead of stating "He made me feel good again", the poem could describe how exactly this change in feeling occurred.
The poem also tends to tell rather than show. Instead of stating "He is an ordinary man with a spectacular skill", it could show this through specific actions or behaviors. This would allow the reader to infer the man's ordinariness and spectacular skill, making the poem more engaging.
The poem's structure is generally clear, with the speaker's transformation serving as the central narrative. However, the transition from the speaker's initial state to the transformed state could be smoother. This could be achieved by introducing some form of conflict or struggle, which would make the transformation more believable and impactful.
The poem's language is simple and straightforward, which makes it accessible. However, it could benefit from more varied and complex language to add depth and richness. For instance, instead of repeating "I can" in the final stanza, the poem could use different verbs to describe the speaker's newfound abilities.
Finally, the poem's theme of transformation and empowerment is universally relatable, which is a strength. However, it could delve deeper into the specifics of the speaker's experience to make it more unique and personal. This could be achieved by incorporating more personal details or anecdotes.
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