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Feb 24, 2011
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Swan
Swan
To lift on high
my carriage of head,
white coat of down
sometimes shed.
Can you know me
this time, this dawn,
know that I’m,
a well swam Swan.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I see i write i await...
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
14 years 4 months ago
One crit...
Swum instead of swam. ~ Geezer
Roscoe Lane
14 years 4 months ago
Where i,
Where i come from in Scotland we never swum anywhere, we always swam it was much more fun. Thanks for your comments and time. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Lane
14 years 4 months ago
To some,
To some they still are on the menu, but slightly above our standing, or so they like to believe. Regards Roscoe...
Kailashana2
14 years 4 months ago
hahaha B
hahaha B
a well-swum swan? surely you can think of a better end, Roscoe!
~A
Roscoe Lane
14 years 4 months ago
Thank you,
Thank you, it was meant as a fun poem. Now you 've got me seriously thinking about changing it. Love Roscoe..
Roscoe Lane
14 years 4 months ago
Aw Shirley,
Aw Shirley you as well, I will definitly wok on this again. Love Roscoe..
scribbler
14 years 4 months ago
hi Roscoe
I liked this for the fun of reading. If you feel lead to change it too much, consider leaving it as is and writing another on same subject..................scribbler
Roscoe Lane
14 years 4 months ago
Thank you,
Thank you, i am really undecided but will think hard on it. Regards Roscoe...
Roscoe Lane
14 years 4 months ago
Sounds good,
Sounds good, thank you for your input. I will give it a day or so to rattle through my head, but so far that sounds best. Love Roscoe...
Roscoe Lane
14 years 4 months ago
Thank you,
Thank you, i am thinking hard about this one, and have a few ideas. Love Roscoe..