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Mar 09, 2016
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a table for none
make no mistake
war is
what it was
savage a war as
these things tend to be
but these battles were not fought on the
sea, in the air or in
trenches on foreign soil
death reared its head in our
garages - kitchens - bedrooms
in our mirrors
where eyes locked in combat with time
until the second hand gave way
allowing history to write the future
bullets and blades
ropes and belts
gas and even chemical warfare
they never lost
they never won
victory
was nothing more than
pine boxes, lettered stones and the question
why?
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
scribbler
9 years 4 months ago
Hi
Perhaps refers to the war between the states? I'm not much at free verse so the only thing I'll suggest is putting a stanza break between " they never won" and "victory".........stan
Geezer
9 years 4 months ago
Like Stan...
Not exactly sure of the war you are referring to. I suspect that it might not be entirely visible here. It almost seems as though you might be describing battles in a war of depression. Which many [even if treated] lose. Made me think so I guess you did your job! ~ Gee.
eightmenout
9 years 4 months ago
Stan/Gee
Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. The poem is about depression and suicide. And, yes, there should have been a line space there.