tailored fabric [An Extended Sunku]

sketches
created
on memo pad

measured
cut pieces
sewn together

wonder
if the suit
is aesthetic

i love
adventure
not barriers

my brand
is free spirit
flowing like ink

I count
all stitches
holding pieces

leaving
enough room
to imagine

each suit
I design
reflects my mood

a need
turns to want
then a desire

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

IRiz

6 years 8 months ago

Hm, interesting poem.

Hm, interesting poem.
Yes, I see it relates to the topic.
Well done :)

raj

6 years 8 months ago

Thanks for your reading and

Thanks for your reading and positive comment IRiz. Means a lot.
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zebra

6 years 8 months ago

Hi Raj

a need
turns to want
then a desire

……

While I enjoy this piece Their sequence seems like a de-escalation as need remains more urgent than desire. What if it where reversed

a want
turns to desire
then urgency of need

Does this end stronger?
and what is Sanku? Is it Hindi or perhaps Sanskrit?

raj

6 years 8 months ago

Thanks Zebra

for reading and sharing your thoughts...actually need-want-desire are known to be progressive stages of a sales cycle ...or decision making progression...

as to Sunku ...it is an innovation of IRiz as a japanese concise form....3 stanzas...each of three lines in a sequence of 2-3-4 syllables.... i will search and add a link which will make you understand it better...here it is..

https://www.neopoet.com/iriz/blog/mon-2018-02-19-1013
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