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Take Leave
Take leave
Take leave from City streets
constant illumination head west
through urban sprawl to where
the night sleeps easy
Take time for roads less travelled
those of grass verge and gravel
follow the through-fare walking
along its centered spine
Taking note of the sward what is
there within its keep the hedgerow
along its ditch that forever creeps
to where harvests meadows lay golden
Take heed of your direction remember
my words the landmarks I mentioned
and the turns to take to where I
eagerly await your presence
Take sight of my humble abode
your journey comes to welcome end
open arms a joyful embrace
thoughts exchanged there after.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
neopoet
7 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Take Leave" effectively conveys a sense of escape and journey through vivid imagery and a reflective tone. The theme of leaving the bustling city for a more serene and natural environment is clear throughout the poem. The use of descriptive language like "constant illumination," "urban sprawl," and "harvests meadows lay golden" creates a strong visual impact and helps the reader visualize the journey being described.
One suggestion for improvement would be to consider varying the rhythm and structure of the poem to enhance its flow. Adding some variation in line lengths or incorporating different rhyme schemes could help maintain the reader's interest and create a more dynamic reading experience. Additionally, paying attention to the consistency of imagery and metaphors throughout the poem can help strengthen its overall coherence.
Overall, "Take Leave" is a contemplative piece that effectively captures the theme of seeking solace in nature. By refining the poem's structure and ensuring consistency in its imagery, the poem can further engage readers and evoke a deeper emotional response
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Candlewitch
7 months 2 weeks ago
Dear Ziggy,
This was a splendid read for the first thing in the morning with my coffee! I really like where this poem of peace and contemplation. my favorite lines are:
Take sight of my humble abode
your journey comes to welcome end
open arms a joyful embrace
thoughts exchanged there after
hugs, Cat xxx
ziggy
7 months 1 week ago
Hi cat
ziggy
7 months 1 week ago
Hi cat
ziggy
7 months 1 week ago
Hi cat
Many thanks cat,love to get your thoughts on my words,I am currently working 12 hour night shift.
Lavender
7 months 2 weeks ago
Take Leave
Hello, Ziggy,
This is like a warm blanket and a hug. Dearly love everything about this, the graceful flow, the enjambment, the language. What a nurturing feeling this gives me!
Thank you!
L
Soft, compassionate title, too!
ziggy
7 months 1 week ago
Hi
Hello there, many thanks for your kind words I will look up your posts soon as I finish this graveyard shift
Leslie
7 months 1 week ago
Take Leave
This reminds me of when I moved from the west coast. To Oklahoma with its red dirt country roads. The people there were kind and forgiving. I loved living there because of this and their attitude of tolerance. Great poem and best regards. John
ziggy
7 months 1 week ago
Hi Leslie
Many thanks for your kind words, sounds like a lovely place you discribe,see you artist site take care