raj

Apr 28, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Tanka on Insomnia

In the midnight blues
silence whispers impishly
making me breathless.

nights become days, days nights
dusk and dawn a pause for breath.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Somewhere in the world, IND

Comments

11 years 2 months ago

Reminds me of my own insomnia

I love these short poems. I feel that if done right they convey something worth a thousand words. I feel it is their sudden end that keeps people reading. We read it over and over in hopes of finding closure, but in real life, when is there any real closure? That is why I find these short poems very natural and human.

As far as the poem itself goes, I can relate to it very much. I have experienced many nights where I lay awake staring into the dark. It is interesting how long the night can truly be, and how terrifying it can get in the silence. I couldn't tell you how many times I had prayed for the dawn.

You captured so much in so little, great poem.

raj

11 years 2 months ago

Search

Thanks for the visit. Good to know you found this to be a great poem and it does make one connect with what I was attempting to capture.

Regards,

loved

11 years 2 months ago

wonderful ....insomnia

in the midnight blues
silence whispers impishly
making me breathless.

'''hark my heart stops
fear stalks me
I sweat helplessly....

will this be!

raj

11 years 2 months ago

Loved

Thanks for your visit and time.

Regards,

loved

11 years 2 months ago

oh yes

but u haven't said a word
on my para three lines
kindly do

raj

11 years 2 months ago

Sorry for not sharing my

Sorry for not sharing my thoughts on the three lines in your comment. Yes, they are good because fear is one of the elements during insomnia. However, i believe it is not the only element. The other elements which a person having insomnia may be encountering are self appraisal, worry, mental fatigue, exhaustion, self doubt, guilt...etc...

Regards,

loved

11 years 2 months ago

wonderful ....insomnia

is a consequence of
internal malady conflict stress restlessness
and the panacea is
MEDITATION
thanks raj ur kind

loved

11 years 2 months ago

hark! insomnia

'hark my heart stops
stress stalks me
I sweat helplessly....

any better now?

raj

11 years 2 months ago

Yes, it is better Loved

loved

11 years 2 months ago

thank you so very much

shall post it when neos permit it
see u
r u in Bombay or Cal??
OH MUMBAI did u say
Juhu eh!

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

Loved

Bombay or Mumbai
Constantinople or Istanbul.
Hanoi or Ho Chi Minh
I have had to throw my nearly all red atlas away, as all the names are wrong, I am waiting for New York to become
"The Big Apple" then I shall buy a new one LOL
Have a great day, Yours, Yenti, Ian, Sparrow,
Oh what the hell, ME

loved

11 years 2 months ago

great vision hickory duckery

doggery
jerry
not louis
Ianly
not
ironically!

raj

11 years 2 months ago

I believe you did not find

I believe you did not find the poem worthy of any comment. As for where I am from? While writing poetry I am at Neopoet. :)

Regards,

Ian.T

11 years 2 months ago

raj

Your poem and its parts was top line,
That I read and commented I forgot to mention the main points.
Loved put me at a loose end asking where you were from, I just added the city changes.
Sorry that I failed to comment properly, it happens sometimes when time is short for me..
I had a poem on stream for two weeks and have just taken it off, it was called "Home" and no one commented so I just took it off. then I became less interested it happens sometimes as I comment on most poems that come on stream.
There are so many poets here that just submit and don't comment, Had I called it "Shit Happens " I would have had better luck.
Whoops I am cross again, Take care out there I shall change my think, LOL, Yours, Sparrow

raj

11 years 2 months ago

Ian

Thanks for your comment. I do appreciate what you have said.

Best regards,

loved

11 years 2 months ago

sorry 4 annoying you raj

the very fact I have imbibed mine
and taken your okay
speaks for the quality of yours

I feel too dwarfed
to comment on yours ..raj

IKnowNoBox

11 years 2 months ago

Great subject, profound even.

Not an easy picture to paint without making it a trite woaful dirge.Silence whispers impishly' I feel that line. I am actually unable to sleep deeply myself, a medical condition that allows me only to reach a light restful lucid state about twice a week.

In ink,
David

raj

11 years 2 months ago

Hi David

Thanks for you time, visit and comments.

Regards,

Barbara Writes

11 years 2 months ago

raj

A nice impishly tanka about insomnia. I've suffer with insomnia since preschool. It gotten to the point I been prescribed anxiety medicine to sleep a few weeks ago. Somehow, I injured my neck and not sleeping was the reason it hurt constantly for years and I was unable to sit up for any length of time.. A medical revelation from my neurologist. Your tanka is nice refreshing distraction from the serious me.