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Ian.T
Ian.T
Jun 05, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Working With Japanese Poetry

(Read More...)

Tanka (workshop)

Rivers of darkness

Flow silently underground

Released to sunshine

Nurturing all it touches

Let us rejoice it runs free......

Yours tounge in cheek Yenti

About This Poem

Last Few Words: First Tanka ever and for me to learn new tricks is becoming a habit

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Leicestershire, Ex Moonraker, GBR

Favorite Poets: All those I meet or read about in my books, , then some others show me, bless them.., I.T.Howard © 2014

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Comments

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

13 years ago

Ian

There are three ways to write tanka and you chose the 5/7/5/77 form, wonderful. What is that last line? I'm not sure how It fits. Other wise I like it.

Ian.T

Ian.T

13 years ago

Barbara

I am not going to say anything more than I sign off as Yenti in many of my poems and writings....

Regards Yenti (smiling to himself trying not to titter as Sparrow leans over and laughs at him)

Ian.T

Ian.T

13 years ago

Jess

Now come on this is better for a start
Maybe he's had a brain fart
As you know them so well
Make the Japanese syllables ring like bells.

Yours Sparrow. now look what you've done,
Ian.T has gone into his dark room again, no sun.
Maybe he will be around for the rest of the workshop
Now I have to pay a Witch Doctor because he's forgot. ... La LA