Tar Baby

This poem is truly captivating. The imagery that you convey is truly impressive to me! Really good work, keep it up!
-whoswordsarentthey

I am guessing that you are writing about a lover?
Maybe someone that you admire from afar?
I like the theme and the ethereal qualities you endow her with.
I do wonder at the first line: Black hair hangs [below the floor]?
Not sure of how the hair hangs BELOW the floor. I think you have
a good poem going here, just read it aloud and look at other rhyming poems here
you will get a good idea of pace and meter. ~ Geezer.
.

I’ve not commented on any of your poems yet. I can’t make any suggestions that would improve the poem. I agree with Geezer the ethereal quality is thick and it’s something I use a lot in my writing. It makes me think about possible meaning. Lends ambiguity for the reader to draw more personal conclusions.

Welcome,
Tim

Your poem really holds the reader's attention and delves into the depths of your subject's soul. Well done! We have similar taste in music! Excellent choice for influences. :) I look forward to reading more of your works.

I loved the poem, it was brilliantly conceived and presented. I admired the air of mystery that was the thread of cohesion to the end. I had this notion in my head, that she is deceased... there is such an ethereal element here.

p.s.
it is very nice to meet you. I have a Male alter-ego by the name of: eddy styx
he writes dark poetry under my name.

Interesting piece here, I liked your use of imagery, and allusion.

One question, tho... why did you skip a line in between every written line? I would suggest taking the overuse of white space and making stanzas out of this nice poem. i believe that placing your lines in stanza form will allow you to express your thoughts to the reader mo' better'...

"Black hair hangs below the floor
Shadow bangs hide open window eyes
Nothing is seen that is not supposed to be

Her whole world is a disguise
She's wrapped in magic carpet dreams leaving all to the imagination
To wonder what she is made of or if she has any limitations

She walks alone at night with her hair over her eyes
To keep those drawn to her from being terrified
She only seeks the lost

The broken are her mission

She turns the truth on them and offers her redemption
Flipping her black hair back reveals blazing eyes of bronze
They cut a person deep inside with a wisdom never wrong

She draws from the wounded and paints just what she sees
Her tiny poems are filled with a naked honesty

To have her capture you in a form of art
Is to be on display starting with the heart.

She brings the demons forward from the dirty dingy cracks
They are powerless to be revealed and there is no going back
It leaves a void beside the soul that she fills with an empty remedy

She leaves numb, where pain persisted, this her never ending melody."