the temple

dressed as freely as i came
adorned with nothing, the mirror reflecting beauty and strength
a sacred temple is what i am
a little bit of honey, chocolate, milk, lightning and scars
treating me otherwise is pure ignorance
so with trembling knees and bowed head, you will worship in spirit and in truth.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: i was inspired in the bathroom.

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: nigeria, NGA

Favorite Poets: rupi kaur, wole soyinka

Comments

scribbler

8 years ago

lol

I think a Lot of people are inspired in the bath room but just won't admit it lol. Welcome to neopoet. If you have any problems such as navigating the site just ask me or any other member.....stan

Eumolpus

8 years ago

your poem says alot

And has good inner logic. It's short enough to read over several times, so here's a few comments:
putting chocolate so close to milk makes it sound too much like "chocolate-milk", i would try to put it a different way. Also the length of the last line...i think it should be broken into 2 lines.

I think you have a serious theme here, the body as the temple, including its "lightening and scars" (very strong line). Thanks for your poem.