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Edward nigma
Edward nigma
Jul 28, 2021 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Tender heart tied tears

Tender
heart tied tears
trickle down
my foggy forlorn
face .
Yearning
me back
to those
endearing
days dripped
in satin
and lustered
in lace .
The memories
my mind
will never
erase .

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Virginia, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe homer Dante Alighieri Oscar Wilde , William Wordsworth

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

3 years 11 months ago

Your first line needs to tie

Your first line needs to tie in.
I am not sure if [tied] is a typo, [tired].
If it isn't,
I would like to see the line expressed as:

Tender heart
tied [to] tears.

I have trouble with the [foggy] forlorn face.
I just have never seen or imagined a foggy face.

The next line: Yearning me back.
I think [bringing] would be a more appropriate word.
Wrapped instead of dripped?
~ Geez.
.