Theophany

Awestruck was I to find

In this time of misery

Age of darkness

An emotional revelation.

A color so obscure

From a creature divine.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I wonder what others will perceive is the theme of this poem?

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: VIR

Favorite Poets: “Withdraw into yourself and look. And if you do not find yourself beautiful yet, act as does the creator of a statue that is to be made beautiful: he cuts away here, he smoothes there, he makes this line lighter, this other purer, until a lovely face has grown upon his work. So do you also: cut away all that is excessive, straighten all that is crooked, bring light to all that is overcast, labour to make all one glow of beauty and never cease chiselling your statue, until there shall shine out on you from it the godlike splendour of virtue, until you shall see the perfect goodness surely established in the stainless shrine... Never did eye see the sun unless it had first become sunlike, and never can the soul have vision of the First Beauty unless itself be beautiful.”, Plotinus, The Enneads

Comments

Esker

10 years 8 months ago

word shifts...

"upon a creatures divinity.."
words for me are coming back
slowly...

creature's is a personification of subject
of course....Divinity is something a bit
more and less of Divine....it is a state of
being rather then a solid noun description

descriptors are like shifting without a
clutch...it can be done..
a matter of looking at things..

rock is a rock
but it is also strata...metamorphic..
shift and rend..mute..and fragile..
smooth and polished
jagged and broken
rises to the earth and submerges
like a diving beast beneath
the tides at the edges of eternity

or.."on a creatures divinity"

almost like an oath or spell
this poem

I greatly like it in reading

Thank You!

Ian.T

10 years 8 months ago

Jahleel

For a creature divine:- should this be
"From a creature divine"
One of the Spirit spirits was asked if we could see him/her
There was a beautiful un describable blue light, we knew who it was.
This write is bordering on the other side to life and very good,
Yours Ian.T

Lonnie

10 years 8 months ago

Decidedly different

Not sure if I like it or not, but that's only a matter of personal opinion and not a reflection on the poem or its author.

Jahleel Drigo

10 years 7 months ago

Thanks for taking the time to

Thanks for taking the time to comment guys, I always enjoy reading your responses. In truth the theme of this poem was intended to be entirely sexual. In the end it sounded more like some sort of direct angelic experience so I slapped the 'theophany' tag on it and sold it :) .Perhaps I should not have done that