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Sep 25, 2020
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There
I will be a lighthouse
If fog makes you lose your way.
I will be a lifeguard
If waves go over your head and you are too weak to get back up to the surface.
I will be a star
On the darkest, stormiest night when all you can do is stumble.
I will be there.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Gracy
5 years ago
Hello BD6, lovely poem. It's
Hello BD6, lovely poem. It's powerful. I like your ideas of lighthouse, lifeguard and star. I tweaked one line because it seems too long, IMO. Take or toss. Title, theme, spacing and all else is fine. All the best, Gracy
If waves go over your head and you're too weak to return to the surface.