Lavender

Jan 20, 2025 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

There I Weep

As I have known you in this life,
those wondrous days,
these lonely nights,

when winter winds hold my head low,
and promises, forgotten, go
down some cold lane of once-upon-a-time,

I feel the grief, though still sublime
are thoughts of you, now treasured deep
within my silenced soul, I keep

your kiss, your warmth, your voice unheard,
though I remember every word,
and in this fragile memory, there I weep.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Did a bit of automatic poetry writing, starting with no intention and simply going forward. Very spontaneous, yet revealing. Perhaps a lost love, an unrequited love?

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Rula

5 months 2 weeks ago

Automatic poetry writing

Hello dear Lavender!
I use this technique quite often after abandoning writing for a long time. It usually helps.
I think you really did great job here, that I won't tell you've followed this technique. I especially like the second stanza as winter's coldness fits well with the theme of lost/unreturned love
I'm always mesmerized with whatever you pen!
Thank you for sharing.

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Rula,

Not a lot of concentration with this one, but it's a nice release to simply start writing and discover what takes shape. Very revealing.
Thank you, as always!
Lxx

Rula

5 months 2 weeks ago

I wonder

If you're leaving this beauty crying for a title! :)

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Yes!

While the words flowed, a title didn't! :) What do you think?

Rula

5 months 2 weeks ago

I think

you need to focus on the memories left, what do you think of
"Echoes of the Silence"
""Echoing the Void"
I'm sure you can come up with something better

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Rula,

Wonderful suggestions which I'll think over. Thank you for helping with this.
Lx

Ray Miller

5 months 2 weeks ago

Untitled

Enjoyed the read. The irregular rhyming works pretty well, though I looked for a rhyme with "days" in vain. Does automatic writing qualify you as AI?

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Ray,

No rhyme for "day." The idea was to go with whatever laid itself down without amending it too much. It was a grounding and cleansing experiment. Nope... nothing artificial here. :)
Thank you for reading!
L

Ruby Lord

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hi Lavender, this poem

Hi Lavender, this poem unfolds naturally as if you have approached it without thinking beforehand. It gives the piece a lovely tone which I enjoyed in your words. Well done, Ruby xx

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Ruby,

I simply started writing whatever seemed to flow from my fingers. It felt pretty cool, so I thought I'd share the experience. I'm happy you enjoyed it, and grateful for your comments!
Lx

Triskelion

5 months 2 weeks ago

Should one consider...

...this revealing? I mean, to just start writing, then come up with something so filled with (wanting)? Not sure if that's the right word. Perhaps, the entirety is just in regard to a passing fancy...

I never understood three line stanzas, but perhaps as my writing matures, I'll try it sometime myself.
Although the poem as a whole is enjoyable, I especially liked S2.

P.S. I imagine only yourself being able to title this one, since there can be a lot of ways it can be interpreted. I have settled on 2 possible titles for my interpretation of it, still leaving its mystery intact. It took about a dozen rereads...lol. Good luck!

Very nice, Lavender

Thomas

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Thomas,

I didn't see your added comment until after I titled this. So sorry. If you'd care to share how you interpreted the poem, I'd be curious. Thank you for your time!
L

Triskelion

5 months 1 week ago

Hi Lavender

...my interpretation was narrowed down by reading every line asking myself what/ who can this be written about/ to and came up with two possibilities, although both are closely related.

Not sure if you are a person of faith, but to me, it is on that level and could even be titled "Faith" as it can be a person's name as well.
The other title I came up with was "Trinity" also from a religious angle.
Anyway, I did enjoy it in that sense.

Thomas

Lavender

5 months 1 week ago

Hello, Thomas,

Really appreciate your interpretations and I'm happy this brought about such thought. It definitely felt spiritual.
Thank you for spending the time and energy with this!
L

Lavender

5 months 2 weeks ago

Hello, Thomas,

It revealed itself to me, and I was pretty taken - kinda like an inner-spiritual feeling? Nah, that's too analytical. But if was cleansing. I have no idea what it means or where it came from, but it had the scent of a Romeo/Juliet soliloquy to it. I have a feeling your limericks come to you that way - they seem to flow naturally with little amending. The three line stanzas and enjambment also just appeared. Sometimes non-traditional begs to be heard.
Thank you!
L