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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 02/08/26 To 02/14/26

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There You Are

There you are-
not in the loud places,
not in the room where voices rise
and vanish like smoke,
but in the stillness
between one breath and the next.

There you are,
in the soft hinge of morning,
where light slips over the mountains
like a hand smoothing a wrinkled soul,
quietly making the world ready again.

There you are,
in the memory I didn't know I kept,
the one that returns unannounced,
carrying dreams of tomorrow,
the possibility of new beginnings,
and the strength of a voice
I thought I had forgotten.

There you are,
not lost, not gone,
just waiting in the places
I rarely think to look-
the overlooked corners,
the quiet spaces where we hide
until we're ready to see ourselves again.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: ID, USA

Favorite Poets: Rod McKuen, T.S. Elliot, Ezra Pound, Walt Whitman

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 months 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem employs repetition of the phrase "There you are" as a structural and thematic anchor, which effectively guides the reader through shifting landscapes—external, temporal, and internal. This refrain creates a sense of searching and discovery, inviting contemplation of presence and absence.

Imagery is a notable strength, particularly in lines such as "light slips over the mountains / like a hand smoothing a wrinkled soul." This simile is both original and evocative, merging the physical with the emotional in a way that deepens the poem’s meditative tone. The use of "the soft hinge of morning" and "the stillness / between one breath and the next" demonstrates attention to subtle, liminal moments, reinforcing the poem’s focus on quiet revelation rather than dramatic epiphany.

The poem’s structure—four stanzas, each beginning with the refrain—creates a rhythm that mirrors the process of searching and finding. The progression moves from external spaces ("not in the loud places") to internal memory and, finally, to a reconciliation with the self ("the quiet spaces where we hide / until we're ready to see ourselves again"). This arc is coherent and emotionally resonant.

Some lines, such as "carrying dreams of tomorrow, / the possibility of new beginnings," risk abstraction compared to the more concrete imagery elsewhere. The poem is strongest when it grounds its emotional stakes in sensory or specific detail. Consider further developing or condensing abstract phrases to maintain the poem’s vividness and avoid diluting its impact.

Line breaks generally support the poem’s contemplative pace, though some enjambments (e.g., "just waiting in the places / I rarely think to look-") could be reconsidered for clarity or emphasis. The use of punctuation is minimal, which suits the poem’s gentle flow, but the occasional dash and comma help to guide the reader’s breath and attention.

Overall, the poem demonstrates a thoughtful exploration of presence, memory, and self-discovery, using repetition and imagery to create a meditative atmosphere. Further attention to balancing abstraction with concrete detail could enhance its emotional immediacy.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Lavender

Lavender

2 months 1 week ago

There You Are

Hello, Will,

"...the overlooked corners..."  So true - masterful imagery.  Soft language throughout,  and the sense of an element of surprise.  Lovely.

Thank you!

L

William Lynn

William Lynn

2 months 1 week ago

Thank You

Thank you Lavender for reading and commenting, it's very much appreciated.

I know that I often fail to look in the obvious places, partly out of habit and usually out of not wanting to admit that there are things I need to work on and I have convinced myself I do not need to.  Self denial can be powerful and easy to dismiss, usually at my own peril. I shall carry on!

Thanks again, all my best, Will

John Leslie O'Kelley

John Leslie O'Kelley

2 months 1 week ago

William Lynn

Another very soft, beautiful poem. I wouldn't worry about mistakes, you don't make many, me thinks! Have a wonderful next few days and weekend!

William Lynn

William Lynn

2 months 1 week ago

Thanks

Thanks John, I appreciate you comments.

Trust me, I have made and continue to make mistakes all the time.  Hopefully I grow with each one and try not to repeat the too often.  I always taught my son that nobody grows or achieves anything worthwhile without making mistakes along the journey.

Thanks again - Will