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Aug 01, 2020
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the things of life
The mind of time for fresh air to breath, in the night of silence the mind of violence, for peace to live inside to decide life with pride life is a ride on a journey to the center of the earth for what life is worth the battle scares from the stars in the skies of pain when one cries For a moment of clarity the ability of agility to move in silence as the air of providence to commence a life under the fence, only to climb to the top of the world to sit outer space, a rat race to look down at, a world of destiny for the quest to be the best at humanity, for the sanity of the lost to be found for the bound of glory not another sad story. The mind over matter chattered across the glob to prob for a meaning. to find the healing power inside to take a ride through life, to be humble with little pride, to take a dive to the danger side to survive this life ride only as the sun set to find peace and beauty, the nature of air and flowers the showers of rain and pain as tears of fear waters the eyes as one cries only to be born to die. Life under the sun for fun and memories the rest of life is history.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: well I hope this poem make sense to people.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Ambrose Gibbs
4 years 11 months ago
the things of life
this is poem that goes beyond life.
c lynn brooks
4 years 11 months ago
ambrose
It is so much easier to read if you were to write this in stanzas
example:the mind of time given fresh air to breathe
in the night of silence
the mind of volence
rasy way to do this everywhere you have a comma new line
every where there is a new thought a new line
you will find lining it up this wy you may get more help and input
from the two lines I have just read it looks like I want to read more
try the stazas and see what happens
to do this just go back to your poem and click on edit then save when you are done
this is known as line breaks in free verse writng which is what I believe you have written