Ian.T

Nov 06, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Thought A Feeling

You are there without a form
Just a pattern that I know is you
What can I do for you as you draw near?
Things to me in the now are not clear.

I could feel the colours of your touch.
Your gentle think inside my mind
Yet there is no message that I can find
Oh! Thank you! I know why you visit so.

Just to tell me that you love me is fine
my love for you spans all of time.
There is an infinity of things to learn
I still need more time, before I return.

Is not for me to say that when
I should journey home again.
Is it true that in all the things I do?
There will be several things left undone.

I thank you for being here with your son
I love the very thought of you my mum.
We will meet as the time brings us near
Reach out within my think I will be there.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: The shape of a ladies face appeared, on a tile I was using for silicon glue, I have now put a pic of it on face book, It has now faded and gone, yet there is a peace left behind. Is it a form of madness or a belief that brings these things. Who knows??? But I wrote this piece for the person I saw there..

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Leicestershire, Ex Moonraker, GBR

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Seren

11 years 8 months ago

Ian, Who really knows ? But if it brings comfort and peace

It cant be a bad thing, I really liked this piece, this was written for your Mum ? the last stanza took me to that conclusion, it really is peaceful there is a sense of wonderment and timelessness that is conveyed so well you have also given me an idea for a poem I will scratch out a rough piece tonight and work on it

The ladies face is not for others eyes it is a gift to you :)

love always JC xxx

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

Jayne

It was written as a message from the face I saw on a tile here in front of me I use for decoupage, it just reminded me of a wonderful lady.
Thanks for your read and lovely to walk with you again,
Yours Ian xx
PS:- I have just taken a photo of it so if it comes out I shall post on my face book yours Ian xx

Seren

11 years 8 months ago

I will add some footprints to

I will add some footprints to the lawn tonight I plan to go night wandering ;) I really enjoyed this peaceful piece it put me in the right mood to finish writing the poem I am going to post tonight

love always JC xxx

p.s I will keep an eye on FB :)

Rula

11 years 8 months ago

Ian

Do you mean a. specific "lady's" face. Anyway it could be about anyone you feel love to.
Nicely portrayed..

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

Rula

Thank you for your visit, yes the face looked as my Mother did in her later years, I have posted the pic on my Face book for anyone to see,
Take care, Yours Ian.T

weirdelf

11 years 8 months ago

Lovely, Ian

Well written, a gentle, deep emotion without a hint of sentimentality.

Your gentle think deep inside my mind [lose 'deep',it will scan better]
My love for you spans all the times [all of time]
To return home though I do yearn [I do yearn, contrived. Hard to think of a suggestion, perhaps-
Homewards always I will turn

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

Jess

thank you for your critique, I shall attend to those points in the morning, they are very good, and as you know I will always listen to what you say. Thank you.
Will talk tomorrow, I am tired today must have got up too fast, and I have a lot of things to answer.
Take care out there, you are but a thought away, Yours Ian

weirdelf

11 years 8 months ago

Cool,I think that's better.

Do you?

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

Thanks Jess

It reads a lot better I should pay more attention to when I write them and post. I need to spend a bit more time on the streaming.
Hope you are well.
It is good to have you critique like this must be easier than some of the better written poetry.
Take care out there and talk to you soon, Yours Ian.T

weirdelf

11 years 8 months ago

Want to hear how it sounds to me?

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0UwG1UFD986

Ian.T

11 years 8 months ago

Jess

Beautifully read, it appears that your voice was perfect for this piece,
I am having troubles with finding it again, but I shall try.
Thank you so very much for doing this and I know others will be so thankful when you speak their poetry.
Take care out there and know we are thinking of you..
Yours Ian