THREE ORDERS

On such a lovely day as this
with closed eyes warmed by the spring sun
although such thought might be remiss
I'm not yet READY to be done

Eye for eye is what they say
so even now I'll owe two more
'cause when the madness struck that day
'twas not my AIM! to kill that whore

That pimp, though, I meant to kill
he deserved my lethal ire
he'd pimped my child against her will
and thus deserves to feel hell's FIRE!!.............

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Hmmm.... in looking this over I wonder if it's a type of acrostic?..........stan

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

weirdelf

13 years 3 months ago

I'm a huge believer in vengeance,

but except in a few cases, like pederasty, the death penalty.

"May the punishment fit the crime" The Mikado, Gilbert and Sullivan.

Strong and potent verse Stan. Me like.

Did a particular incident prompt it?

scribbler

13 years 3 months ago

Hi Jess

Glad you liked this thing from a Mere pastoral poet lol. In my opinion there are far too many people on death row who should have been executed long ago. For despite the mistakes that have been made in our justice system there ARE those whose guilt is indisputable and we should not be forced to keep them up. And no,there was nothing in particular that brought this about but I guess it Couldbe applied to that Norwegian monster Brievnik...........stan

Roscoe Lane

13 years 3 months ago

They live,

They live an idle life at our expence, while the victim and their family suffers. I would go your way Stan, and do away with them. Great poem, Regards Roscoe..

scribbler

13 years 3 months ago

Hi Roscoe

At least dead they would no longer be a threat to fellow inmates and guards. Thanks for the visit........stan

PRECIOUSLYSET1

13 years 3 months ago

I GREATLY enjoyed this !! It

I GREATLY enjoyed this !! It brings u from sunny prospects to
the bitter truth of reality!! love it

scribbler

13 years 3 months ago

hello

Thank you. Every once in a while my poetry exits the woods and is faced with hard realities..........stan

Ian.T

13 years 3 months ago

Stan

Not sure who you killed there, I think that this is a type of Acrostic but I am not sure if the three words ready, aim, fire should be so obvious.
Is this acrostic are they supposed to be a hidden as a subliminal message
to the reader.
We shall talk about it later, meanwhile a good rendition, Yours, Passerine

scribbler

13 years 3 months ago

Hi Ian

This is suposed to be the last thoughts of amurderer facing a fireing squad . His thought keep being interrupted by the last three ordes he'll ever hear. Only after writing it did it occur to me that it might be viewed as some form of acrostic...................stan