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TILL CHIKKI
Purchased at Swades Grocers
an Indian grocery store
located at 70 Buckwalter Road,
Royersford, Pennsylvania 19468,
serving the Pottstown area
offers a wide variety
of South Asian products,
including fresh produce,
spices, and authentic foods.
The missus chose to buy TILL CHIKKI
often referred to as "Indian Energy Bars"
or "Winter Chocolate,"
this sweet snack ranks
as a popular winter delicacy,
especially during festivals
like Makar Sankranti and Lohri in India.
Aforementioned goodie
includes the following
(INGREDIENTS: sesame seeds,
jaggery (raw cane sugar),
sugar, and glucose syrup
and I hit upon the idea
to break into small pieces
hard to bite without risk
to damage these dentures,
then dissolve in cold water
plus a packet of energy rush
(which gives a little kick in the keister)
makes for a fabulous drink.
Although plagued with
(un-imp-plaque-able)
periodontal disease
more'n half my threescore
and seven orbitz around the sun
(I inherited courtesy susceptibility
courtesy the maternal
genetic trunk line),
a serious bacterial
infection that destroys
the gums, ligaments,
and bone supporting
the teeth, acting as a leading cause
of adult tooth loss) at a young age
disallowed chomping down on food
courtesy whereby mandibles did engage
comestibles limiting my diet to leafage
I did find ingenious solution
despite nearly the dawning dusk
of mine mortality, not quite ready
nor willing to exit
(the webbed wide world of the living)
of life stage door left
particularly after tasting
the aforementioned liquified treat
complemented with a dish
of freshly baked powder milk biscuits
to give this shy person
the courage to do
what needs to be done.
Though an herbivore
not glutton for punishment
indulgence of the palate,
nevertheless one of the joys of being alive
encompassing eating international cuisine
I prefer edible food
except for soylent green
the titular, processed food product
from the 1973 dystopian sci-fi film
of the same name,
famously revealed to be made
from processed human remains.
This denture wearing sexagenarian
does strive his utmost to be couth,
but on occasion utters
an occasional fu*king expletive
rankles church going conservatives forsooth
cause yours truly formerly insooth
used to emphasize a statement
genuine or factual,
frequently appearing
in Shakespearean, poetic,
or old-fashioned literature
derived from Old English
word sōth, meaning truth.
Modification of foods
initially hard to chew
such as dried fruit -
especially raisins or prunes
as well as the following cubed
and thoroughly cooked:
broccoli, carrots, dandelion greens,
eggplant, garlic, mushroom,
onion, potato, rhubarb...
soaked in fluids
or blended into a puree
(easy enough for this grown baby
to be spoon fed)
can be added to fondue
in addition feel free
to improvise videlicet
extempore and imbue
(a familiar dish tried and true)
such as my late mother
(gone these twenty plus years now)
rarely followed a recipe in lieu,
of most likely (egg-ads)
beating the odds duplicating
a sure-fire tummy yummy,
(and one major drawback,
tinkering with pinch
of this, that or the other ingredient,
she could never replicate
her successful zesty dish),
nevertheless after word spread
(like melted butter on bread)
how she embellished
and whipped up a tasty morsel,
her reputation got much deserved attention
how she did temporarily
grudgingly accept
The Yiddish word potchke
(pronounced potch-kee,
often spelled potchka, patchke, or potschke)
means to fuss, mess around, dawdle,
or work in an inefficient,
ineffectual, or slow manner
but hungry stomachs
patiently and willingly waited
and even the title
of the self made cooking connoisseur
an appellation long overdue
but... alas and alack the grim reaper
would not relinquish and God
(Yahweh/Jesus) could not rescue
cuz the cancer metastasized
throughout her lovely bones,
and death one cannot avoid
and the grim reaper won't undo.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: i cannot comment on poems written by others, cuz today like right now a quasi jangling of emotions wracks my psyche.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
2 months ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem is a sprawling, richly detailed narrative that intertwines personal history, cultural references, and reflections on aging and mortality. The conversational tone and the mixture of colloquial language with elevated diction create an intriguing tension, though at times the shifts can feel abrupt or overwhelming.
The poem’s strength lies in its vivid specificity—the naming of the grocery store, the ingredients of the snack, and the detailed description of the speaker’s dental challenges ground the poem in a tangible reality. This concreteness contrasts effectively with the more abstract meditations on life, death, and memory.
However, the poem’s length and density may challenge readers’ engagement. The frequent parenthetical asides, inserted definitions, and digressions sometimes disrupt the flow and make it difficult to maintain a coherent emotional arc. Consider streamlining some of these elements to enhance clarity and pacing. For example, the lengthy explanation of periodontal disease, while informative, might be condensed or integrated more seamlessly into the narrative.
The use of humor and wordplay, such as the invented term “un-imp-plaque-able” and the playful etymology of “insouth,” adds personality but occasionally risks detracting from the poem’s gravitas. Balancing these moments with the more somber reflections could strengthen the overall impact.
The poem’s conclusion, with its meditation on the mother’s passing and the inevitability of death, is poignant but might benefit from a more focused emotional resonance. Tightening the language here could amplify its power.
In terms of form, the poem’s free verse suits its conversational style, but attention to line breaks and stanza divisions could improve readability and emphasize key moments.
Overall, the poem offers a heartfelt and complex exploration of identity, culture, and the passage of time. Refining its structure and pacing would help the emotional and thematic threads emerge more clearly.
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