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Jul 16, 2023
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Time is Precious
People say that this time
will pass away on its own,
but what should I tell them?
In the end of patience, and in the journey of patience,
many boats sink and get scattered.
But But But one should not lose hope and chant hare Krishna maha mantra.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: My whole team is writing this content and participating in my name.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: Please use care (this is a sensitive subject for me, do not critique harshly)
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 11 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Time is Precious" explores the concept of time and the challenges of patience. The use of repetition with the word "But" creates a sense of emphasis and adds a rhythmic quality to the poem. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be strengthened:
1. Clarity of message: While the poem touches on the idea of patience and hope, the overall message could be clearer. Consider expanding on the specific challenges or situations where patience is tested, and how chanting the "hare Krishna maha mantra" relates to maintaining hope.
2. Imagery and description: The poem could benefit from more vivid imagery and descriptive language to engage the reader's senses and create a stronger emotional impact. Try incorporating specific details or metaphors that help to convey the theme of time and patience.
3. Structure and flow: The poem could benefit from a more consistent structure and flow. Consider revisiting the line breaks and stanza breaks to create a smoother rhythm and enhance the overall flow of
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact