Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Apr 22, 2016
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
A Toast
Ah, playful is the gay coquette
who flits between the trees,
which stand around like marionettes
all swaying by degrees.
She romps along, red curls unbound
and flapping in the breeze,
her wrap lies low enfolded round
a figure made to squeeze
Let’s raise a glass to this dear lass
who never meant to tease,
or shake our heads at those instead
that try too hard to please.
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
brittle light
9 years 2 months ago
Keith
you certainly are a smooth writer
this flows like a ...warm jar of honey...like a lottery winners money...like a Stan Getz solo...like I wish I could!
nice observations and commentary on the issue spoken of in the poem.
I think this is a really good piece of work...It works for me!
sincerely,
Keith Logan
9 years 2 months ago
Thank you Al
I am glad it works for you because it is a joy to share my poetic efforts with others, even though I don't anguish like a poet but am a mere rhymer.
Geezer
9 years 2 months ago
Mere Rhymer?...
If I do say so myself, rhyme is a hard thing to do with any consistency. It does take some skill to keep a poem, [Yes, we are poets] smooth and readable. Hmmmp! And if you don't anguish at least a little, you often can't find the word that fits just so. This is a smooth poem that delivers. ~ Gee.
Keith Logan
9 years 2 months ago
Rhyme..
Yes, I admit often it is difficult to find a word to fit but rather than anguish over the drive to find that word, I simply rephrase what led up to that point and continue from there.
Geezer
9 years 2 months ago
I know...
you can't always find the word that fits and must do as you say; rephrase and go on. However, there is always a little bit of [disconcertion may be the right word], until the line is satisfactorily completed.
~ Gee.
wesley snow
9 years 2 months ago
Satisfied.
Completed.
Second of your poems. Starting to see a pattern that excites me. A poet. A new poet for me to read. A good one and I'm just at the beginning. There is a fair amount left for me to read.
Like I said... exciting.
Keith Logan
9 years 2 months ago
Thanks Wesley
I hope you don't end up terribly disappointed. I do my best to amuse myself and have recently felt inclined to share. That is all.
Keith Logan
the happy chappy