Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

today

I hope it's not today when the angels come home
where would these faces hide among the streets bent truth
no walk away monuments are waiting for us to stare
and where was I when you sang the rivers red
in the morning and evenings when I dropped the brightest star

— Orphani, Jan 03, 2012

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Rough draft

Critiques

emogothgirl

emogothgirl

14 years 5 months ago

hi orphani

i would love to see this made longer! the last line almost seems like a cliff hanger. also, i stumbled over the third line a little; but that may be just the absence of punctuation. over all, great work.
always,
mag

Join Neopoet to leave a critique

Neopoet is a free community of poets who critique and support each other's writing.