Tongue in Cheek

The quotes of wisdom we read and repeat,
Fall like snowflakes around my feet.
Surely they are not meant for me,
I’m already wise as you can see.

I’ve had a few trips around the sun,
And I’ve gotten wiser with everyone.
I dumb things down whenever I talk,
So folks don't turn around and walk.

I can’t be humble although I try,
I'm always right, I ain’t gonna lie.
I look in the mirror whenever I can,
And think, “Now there’s a handsome man.”

I’ve only messed up once or twice in years,
And only because I’d had too many beers.
It wasn't my fault that I had a full bladder,
That's the reason I fell off the ladder.

I'm as tough as nails and I take no guff,
I walk around town and strut my stuff.
As healthy as a horse, I've never been sick,
I wonder why people think I'm a…jerk.