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Edward nigma
Edward nigma
Aug 20, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Toy tin soldier

I’m a toy tin soldier and you my love I’m try to find as your glorious image burns deeply in my mind. March on through night when your hypnotic color violet painting The Dark misty sky of the nighT Then my ears were pierced by your soft Sweet serenade of a cry guiding me like a dove flying me to you my love.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Virginia, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe homer Dante Alighieri Oscar Wilde , William Wordsworth

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Comments

Geezer

Geezer

4 years 11 months ago

I don't know...

if I would use the word [pierced] for a line that is supposed to bring about an image of sweet sensuality. Maybe: [ My ears were reached by your serenade-cry, a dove flying me to you, my love]? I get the image of a purple twilight and a snow-white dove, flying toward you. ~ Geez.
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Gracy

Gracy

4 years 11 months ago

Hi Edward, is this short

Hi Edward, is this short piece inspired by the tale of the Ballerina and The Toy Tin Soldier. It reminds me of it.
Good prose. Best, Gracy