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Feb 02, 2021
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Transient love
Love! It is like the cloud that melts
in the rays of the hot sun;
it is like the blossom that opens
at dawn only to wither at nightfall.
Love! It is the harmony that pleasure's rush
sends through your heart then dies;
it is like the flame of the firefly
transient and doomed to fade.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
lovedly
4 years 4 months ago
Lovely description then ends all....
like the blossom
that opens
at dawn
Geezer
4 years 4 months ago
Although...
I disagree with your assessment of love, you do have a good piece of work here. Welcome to Neopoet. ~ Geezer.
.
Lavender
4 years 4 months ago
Transient Love
Hello, Midge,
You've sized up the extreme highs and lows of love in a brief, but strong poem. I like that you've used an exclamation point after the first "Love!" I was immediately curious. I did notice that you used "dies" and "die" close together in the same stanza. Perhaps find another word for one of them? Welcome!
Thank you!
Lavender
Midge
4 years 4 months ago
Ta!
Thanks to all for nice comments & esp. to Lavender for a good point which i have acted on.
Lavender
4 years 4 months ago
Hi, Midge
Very nice edit!
L
Geezer
4 years 4 months ago
I agree!...
Very nice!
~ Geezer.
.