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CL
c lynn brooks
Apr 28, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Trial By Fire

Like shadows passing through a dream
energy flowing in a steady stream
they are haunting every move I make
and stealing every breath I take

Not wanting my lead to follow
easier to hold your fears than swallow

You have become my judge and jury
guilty by unfair comparison surely

Gaining entrance to where I need to be
it is not any easy task for me
for you are the jailer and you hold the keys

I see a heart placed on a pyre
why make a heart suffer a trial by fire

About This Poem

Last Few Words: very cryptic read into it what you will and you may just be right

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north carolina usa, USA

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen, Edgar Alan Poe, ray Bradbury, John Grissom, .Alan S Jeeves James patterson,

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Comments

C

c lynn brooks

5 years 2 months ago

jerry

thank you. you are more perceptive than you think

C

c lynn brooks

5 years 2 months ago

lovedly

thnaks for the read not understanding your comment though

Geezer

Geezer

5 years 2 months ago

I like...

the two-by-two lines of rhyme. I don't often do it, because it is hard to maintain for any length of time. The one three line thought, didn't feel out of place at all. I can appreciate the theme, because I have your leave to make of it what I will. I do believe that it is understood and consequently no need of further elucidation. We all have those emotions and if we don't, we should at least once, to better understand; before becoming the jailer of another. ~ Geezer.
.

C

c lynn brooks

5 years 2 months ago

Gee

Thanks so muchh for reading and your comments

C

c lynn brooks

5 years 2 months ago

Teddy

thank you
will use the line and stealing every breath I take

Gracy

Gracy

5 years 2 months ago

What a haunting poem, Lynn.

What a haunting poem, Lynn. You've written those shadows into a lovely rhyming piece. I have no crits, just hope you have better dreams in the future. I sometimes have nightmares and even grind my teeth...
Happy dreams. Enjoyed.

Simon

Simon

5 years 2 months ago

Nice reading your work

I read and read over because I can't just get enough of it especially rhymes and the arrangements of words I just wish I could keep going on and on, it's a very nice one for me because lean alot from it thanks for the poem Brook.