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A TRIBUTE TO OUR DEAR LOVELY OVERSEER "SHIRLEY DENSON"
The heavens glows in joyfulness,
and the earth leaps in cheerfulness,
for this special gift delivered to humanity,
you're a spiritual Mother with full of sanctity.
God has already adorned your personality,
with a garment of anointing, ability with sincerity,
that's why i'm expressing my unfeigned gratitude
your kindness is an expression of beatitude.
True motives always bring their reward,
it always lead spiritually onward and upward,
you're generally regarded as a good shepherd,
whose loyalty to her divine calling is revered.
Time can't spare me to spill words of emotion,
appreciations and extol your Godly devotion
towards God and Man; for you're an epitome
of God's ambassador, when time shall come,
your glory and honour shall never elude you,
for your stewardship before God drops new dew.
today I pray, let the magnificent grace be upon
thee, for you're a vessel in the world hereupon.
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
3 years 2 months ago
dear onyinyetchi,
can you tell me who she is/was? and who she is/was to you, so I can write a better critique?
*hugs, Cat
Jackweb
3 years 2 months ago
Ok
Actually I don't know about the preacher. But, my twin brother's finance in USA asked me to write for her.
Candlewitch
3 years 2 months ago
dear Onyinyechi,
okay, thanks for clearing that up.
*hugs, Cat
Candlewitch
3 years 2 months ago
hello again,
watch your "articles" (a, the, an) my favorite section is:
God has already adorned your personality,
with garment of anointing,ability with sincerity, with (a) garment
that's Y i'm expressing my unfeigned gratitude (why instead of Y)
your kindness is an expression of beatitude
hugs, Cat.
Jackweb
3 years 2 months ago
Please cross check!
Lines fixed! Thank you!
But, how is the poem Cat?
Candlewitch
3 years 2 months ago
dear Onyinyechi,
your poem is great. it flows well and holds the reader's interest. It sure held mine! this poem makes me want to try harder to be a better person...thank you for this!
*hugs, Cat
Jackweb
3 years 2 months ago
Oh wow!
You're highly welcome Cat
Jackweb
3 years 2 months ago
Thank you Cat
I really need to be more observant about these articles. It affects my lines so much.
Once again, I appreciate you for putting me through.
Is like you know the preacher as well?
large marge
3 years 2 months ago
Ive met some people like this
Its I think a wonderful ode to the light that people like her shine on the world. I also loved "your kindness is an expression of beatitude is such a great line. "With full of sanctity" trips me up a little, im not sure the with belongs there. When I write poems about religion I also like to quote the bible, but thats just my perogative. Maybe something about how she will inherit the earth, how hers is the kingdom of god, etc
Jackweb
3 years 2 months ago
Thank you Large marge
You know her really? Me I don't know anything about her. Just I was told to write about an overseer of a church just for an appreciation.So, those words just fall out as it is.