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Twilightning

With a series of chants
and a supernatural song,

one can be lifted in "twilight"
and be suddenly, gone !

Be not ambiguous
float your heart, high,

savor each moment
and cherish, each "sigh".

Should gravity lean, "heavy"
and cause one to, sway,

find solace, profound
that one's frame bends, that way;

and as the eve swallows
the day, into night;

respect every law
that governs, "twilight"!

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: The High Desert, in the wild west, southern California, U.S. of A.., USA

Favorite Poets: Keates, Poe, Dickinson, and Dr. Seuss. There are a smattering of others, but why bother listing 'em all, ya know?, I also rely on a few of our poets, here....for advice, and what not. I couldn't possibly explain what a fountain of live, effective knowledge we have...right here in our midst ! To catch a glimmer of brilliance, merely visit: the Stream.

More from this author

Comments

judyanne

judyanne

14 years 7 months ago

i really like the way this rolls off the tongue doc

even though i don't really know what you are saying.....

i absolutely love:
'Should gravity lean heavy
and cause one to, sway,
find solace, profound
that one's frame bends that way'

a very interesting write
love judy
xxxx

docmaverick

docmaverick

13 years 5 months ago

Thanx Judyanne....l

...for your very generous remarks. I really can't say what I was trying to say....probably nothing.
Sincerely,
doc.

Rett

Rett

14 years 7 months ago

Doc

As the norm, an intriguing write with a very smoth rhythm and attention to detail. It always bothers me when I cannot find anything to critique about a poem as I feel I am not doing my share. I was impressed with the quality of this one. Very well done sir.

docmaverick

docmaverick

13 years 5 months ago

As always, Rett....

...I'm late responding. Thanx soo very much for the compliment.
Always good to see you commenting. Because whether or not you realize this....every time you give a response, there are quite a few that listens; irregardless as to your content of your reply.
Fear not, friend poet! I'm always one that does.
Very sincerely,
doc.

S

scribbler

14 years 7 months ago

twilight

hey doc,good to be reading you again.Only suggestion is to remove "by " in line 8..........scribbler

William Saint George

William Saint George

13 years 5 months ago

Hmmm...

Theme-wise, I'm always interested in supernatural writes, and appreciate them most when people get them right. You did.

The poem has got this air of sereni

docmaverick

docmaverick

13 years 5 months ago

Well, Mr. W.S.G....

...I wrote this quite a while, ago; I'm really thrilled that yopu liked my effort. Thanx, soo very much.
Very sincerely,
doc.