Edna Sweetlove

Dec 15, 2019 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Two Classical Musical Limericks for Connaisseurs

A pretty French pianist called Lucie
Studied piano with butch Claude Debussy
But "Claire de lune"
Was too hard a tune
With three fingers deep in her pussy.

In concert, young Benjamin Britten
Was once seized by continuous shittin';
Refusing all drugs
He tried two big butt-plugs;
But sadly neither would fit in.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I love classical music. Indeed what other sort of music is there? You'd hardly call the shite which pop singers churn out nowadays music, would you? .

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Region, Country: London, Culture Capital of the World

Favorite Poets: Siegfried Sassoon, Wilfred Owen, Rupert Brooke, Chaucer, Shakespeare to name but a few. And VERY IMPORTANTLY: Erich Fried, a leftwing Austrian of Jewish ancestry who fled the Nazis and became a British citizen in 1949., And, other writers (non-poets mainly): Raymond Chandler, Irvine Welsh, Anthony Burgess, Graham Greene, Charles Bukowski, John le Carré, Anthony Horowitz, Mick Herron, Margaret Attwood, Edna O'Brian, Maeve Binchy., Writers who I find vastly over-rated: TS Eliot, Virgina Woolf, Sylvia Plath, Phil Larkin, E.A. Poe, A. Ginsburg, Longfellow, Gerald Manley Hopkins (actually I LOATHE Hopkins more than damson-dappled words can say).

Comments

weirdelf

5 years 10 months ago

Loove them!

I regard clever smutty limericks right up there with the classics.

As to your 'Last Few Words' though, Edna, I could not disagree more (well I could but it would be gratuitous). No genre has ever become a genre without some brilliance being composed within it. To dismiss any genre, let alone every genre bar classical is to deny yourself a great deal of musical brilliance. I great deal of shite, i freely admit, but look to the roots of any genre and you will find brilliant music.

Cheers

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 10 months ago

I exaggerated...

..I overlooked such fine singers as Julio Iglesias, Al Jolson, Max Raabe and countless others. I should have limited my scathing comments to the tripe which is called "rock" and "pop" and also more talentless screamers than I could shake a stick at.

Thanks for your praise of my limericks. MORE to come!

weirdelf

5 years 10 months ago

woohoo!

Here is one of my favourites-

There is a young man in Japan
Whose poems just never will scan
he sits up all night
but try as he might
he always ends up putting as many words in the last line as he possible can.

weirdelf

5 years 10 months ago

ahem Connaisseurs

Connoisseurs

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 10 months ago

Revision

Following your Nipponese amigo's advice....

A pretty French pianist called Lucie
Studied piano with butch Claude Debussy
But "Claire de lune"
Was too hard a tune
Especially bearing in mind the fact he was kneeling on the ground under the piano staring up at her pussy.
.

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 10 months ago

Connaisseur - another ahem

I quote Wikipedia...
"Either a borrowing of the French connaisseur ("a 'knower', one who knows") or an updating of the earlier borrowing, connoisseur, to bring it into line with modern French orthography."

weirdelf

5 years 10 months ago

oo, i like you

Always happy to stand corrected.

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 10 months ago

Obviously...

.. either is correct, but the "aisseur" form is more pretentious and groovy. Both of which I am.
.

Obadiah Grey

5 years 10 months ago

"Love makes the world go

"Love makes the world go around",,,,,
Nahhh. Its humour! and a bit o' pussy.!

Obi.

Gracy

5 years 4 months ago

Hi Edna, great limericks, my

Hi Edna, great limericks, my only nit is the "butch" word, not sure what you mean. My own ignorance, I guess. Otherwise, very funny indeed and should go for the "make me laugh" contest.
All the best, Gracy

Edna Sweetlove

5 years 4 months ago

Thank you...

..for your kind comments in spite of the vulgarity of my little limericks. You query "butch": in "English" English this usually means "manly", "aggressive" or "excessively masculine". In this context I was making a joke to suggest that Debussy's over-riding heterosexuality drove him to molest his pupils. Bad taste, I'm afraid. And not justified by anything I have read about M.Dubussy. Anything for a cheap jest.
.