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Two Limericks (limerick workshop)
Li -li -limericks are filled with wild words
that most good old folk never heards.
They make it their pride
to keep them inside
and not trail along 'hind the herds.
A Limerick is not but a fable,
produced by small men hardly able
to give a good rhyme,
a cent or the time
or I've fallen out of me cradle.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Houston, we are beyond our comfort zone. We are obviously venting a hot gas. Awaiting further instructions. I could barely find the rhythm without a lot of reading out loud and quickly. I still wonder about some of it. I've managed to eliminate the rude of it, but both are Opera Buffa. The Tragedy yet eludes me.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
weirdelf
10 years 8 months ago
keep trying
This is a deliberately provocative and challenging workshop designed to force us to consider form versus content
wesley snow
10 years 7 months ago
I'll die trying.
But I will try.
Rula
10 years 7 months ago
I thought the first one
is not a bad example. At least its rhythem is of the limerick's (I guess). However, I thought 'cradle' does not perfectly rhyme with 'fable' and 'able', does it?
wesley snow
10 years 7 months ago
Assonance.
The words are not authentic rhymes, but they rhyme in assonance, Country western does it a lot. Near rhyme.
lovedly
10 years 7 months ago
u mean to introduce forced limy's?
never heards.????
of course never heard
snow our man
Simon Smythe
10 years 7 months ago
most enjoyable
perhaps never herd even