The U Cloud...

(a very rare meteorological phenomena)
shaped like a huge double flamed chalice,
and often mistaken for Youtube in the sky,
and understandably easily confused
with Lucy in the sky with diamonds)...
reined a mighty
blizzard like tempest in record time,
where snowflakes formed
in the atmosphere within
a specific layer of cold,
humid air known
as the Dendritic Growth Zone (DGZ),
a "sweet spot" a few thousand feet
up where temperatures hovered
around 10-20°F (-12 to -6°C),
allowing water vapor
to freeze directly onto dust particles,
creating those classic branching shapes
burying the entire
Thomas Paine Fellowship
practically reaching the roof
faster than one can say
"Wynken, Blynken, and Nod"
(where the ordinarily
non-denominational congregation)
post maturely ejaculated
in unison "Oh my God"
just as the services commenced
affecting the entire geographical area
of southeastern Montgomery county
December twenty eighth
two thousand and twenty five
unexpectedly immediately forced
extemporaneous modification
of the figurative playbook,
thus the attendants
while stranded they huddled en-mass
(no pun intended)
without electricity,
nor lights, camera and action
meaning no coffee
"Tough beans" as the saying goes
can mean literal dried beans
that won't soften
due to age or storage,
or it can refer
to the colloquial phrase
"tough beans," meaning "too bad"
or expressing disappointment,
akin to "tough luck,"
often used with a slightly dismissive tone.

The literal tough beans
happen because cell walls
harden, preventing water absorption,
while the idiom uses "tough"
in its sense of difficult or unfortunate
caffeine junkie and addict.

Needless to write
imagine dragons or other mythical beasts
like wyvern, hydra, basilisk,
drake, and serpent,
alongside broader terms
like monster, leviathan,
or winged serpent,
often depending on specific lore
(two-legged wyvern
versus four-legged dragon),
including more archaic terms
such as worm, wyrm, or Draco
since search and rescue missions
could not arrive in a timely manner
thus emergency help
in short supply and high demand
and thus fire expelling monsters
(who actually debunked their reputation
as mean scaly foo fighting
beastie boys and goo goo dolls)
offered the last best hope,
could name their price
demanding at least one
cold and frightened
healthy as an ox troglodyte
ideally the fairest maiden form
to be whisked off
to never never land
dolled up as the prettiest prehistoric creature
as more than a fair exchange
worth more then fine spun gold,
a generous offer quite
if the trapped Unitarians expected
to be rescued courtesy coterie
which liquidation of towering snow drifts
extended into the eve of New Year's night
and that character easily mistaken
as a pawn whose horse knew no name
in reality happened to be me
a tarnished knight
named Armand Hammer (1898-1990) a flamboyant American industrialist, art collector, and philanthropist, famous for transforming Occidental Petroleum (Oxy) into a global giant after acquiring it in the 1950s and for his deep, decades-long business ties with the Soviet Union, starting with Lenin's approval for pencil manufacturing. A trained physician with a flair for drama, Hammer built a vast art collection, supported cancer research, fostered East-West trade, and became a paradoxical figure known for his extravagant lifestyle and controversial dealings, including a pardon for illegal campaign contributions, and took philanthropy and altruism to a new height.