Under The Boardwalk

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Under The Boardwalk" effectively uses vivid imagery and sensory language to immerse the reader in the narrator's memory. The poem's structure, alternating between the narrator's present recollections and past experiences, creates a sense of nostalgia and longing that resonates throughout the piece.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of tense. For instance, the line "We waked down to the end of the pier" appears to be a typographical error. If the intended word was "walked," it would maintain the past tense consistent with the rest of the poem.

The poem also uses a variety of metaphors and similes, such as "We stood like champions on top, in the moonlight" and "We floated on faded old planks." While these add depth to the poem, some of them could be clarified or further developed to enhance their impact. For example, the metaphor of the boardwalk being cut and laid by "some rough old guy" could be expanded upon to give more context or meaning.

The poem's ending, with the line "And my tears roll to go back," is a poignant conclusion that effectively conveys the narrator's longing for the past. However, the transition to this emotional climax could be smoother. The preceding lines about the dock builders seeing the narrator and his companion "years before I was even born" is a bit confusing and distracts from the poem's emotional impact.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a sense of nostalgia and longing, but could benefit from some minor revisions for clarity and consistency.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Nice to meet you.
I read this a couple of times. I am not a big fan of free verse, but this worked well for me. I enjoyed the tenderness and the specific details
Then I read this line
"Your weight was the most real thing I had ever felt"
I wasn't sure then if the whole thing was a mere dream or a memory maybe?
As I said, the way this poem is composed ebbs and flows like the sea waves and takes the reader from dreamy space to reality and backwards.
Sorry if I carried out, it's not my usual way, but I think I like this one
Well done and thank you for sharing.,

What an emotion that can be.
You planted the membrances of many times there at the ocean for me. I thank you for that.
An awesome composition,
Mark

My grandparents married in 1946 in England and came to Canada in 1947 after both having been in the war. Grandpa was in Germany until he got injured, then was on modified duty in a dispatch office, where he met my grandma. The lines about seeing an ankle made me laugh a little - while women of the time did indeed still dress conservatively, my grandmother was more like a pin up girl right before the 50s would have made it popular. Petite, wore shorter floral dresses (not terribly short but definitely a tad scandalous for the times) and had the pretty blonde hair all done up in pictures. My grandpa was the image of respectable. Sweaters, vests, thick framed glasses, always had a tobacco pipe in hand. Your poem brought back images of them from a time I only ever got to see them in through photos. I love this.

"Soon Oh soon the light, pass within and soothe this endless night" There is so much light and goodness here. I felt like I was going home to my wife and family. This is what I took from your beautiful poem! I remember them still!